well, first, one thing BEFORE that, is of course HAPPY NEW YEAR! 2007, how about that. i have high hopes for the year; at least i feel that it’ll be good.
kevin has instilled in me this paranoia about being on the road on new year’s eve, so i headed home at 1:30 with some trepidation. but i took the highway, and there were almost no cars around, and the ones that i saw were driving quite sanely, no swerving, no illegal activities present anywhere, and it too me only about 10 minutes to get home. no big deal.
i feel that he must still be playing in the band right now. and if so he’s very very tired.
i’m very tired, but also i feel that i need to get right to work on things. cleaning the house, for one thing, including removing all xmas decorations which are everywhere. i’m not looking forward to taking the ornaments off the tree because it’s pretty dry by now and the needles feel very pointy and sharp and potentially painful. perhaps i should wear gloves when de-ornamenting.
i also feel like plunging into some more writing, right this very minute. for a minute there i felt so ambitious that i was going to start some notes for gracetalk #5, but then it suddenly struck me that i’m too tired.
doing a show makes me want to do another one, though.
there was a big crowd tonight. they were receptive, and laughed in some places where i’d hoped they would but nobody had in rehearsal.
it was kind of weird, though. before i went on i got really nervous, but when i walked out i suddenly felt very calm, and then i started in, and that’s always a weird feeling because it’s suddenly OK I’M REALLY DOING IT I CAN’T STOP NOW I HAVE TO KEEP GOING ALL THE WAY TO THE END.
maybe it was the fact that there were no breaks this time, it was just 45 minutes of talk talk talking. maybe i was, indeed, too calm. but about four times, i utterly forgot every single thing in my head. maybe because i did this once, this begat other times of doing the same thing. whatever the reason, it irked me quite a bit. but at least, even though it wasn’t perfect, i did feel comfortable just talking except when i was standing up there for what seemed like 50 years, with no thoughts at all in my head. i watched the videotape almost immediately afterwards and it wasn’t as bad as i’d made it in my mind. but still, what made it happen?
one weird thing was the harsh lighting. i could see everybody in the audience clearly. last night i had a dress rehearsal at randy’s house, with about 20 people, and there i kept looking just over peoples’ heads, no eye contact. but tonight i couldn’t find a place to focus that didn’t have people right in my view. it wasn’t so bad, but it was weird and i think distracting. i do have this clear image of some guy i kept looking at, he was kind of far in the back and i know i recognized him from somewhere, i can’t say where except maybe he actually works there at the lincoln library. but anyway he was a nice neutral person to look at. i couldn’t look at my family, and a couple of times i recognized people in the audience but i didn’t want to look directly at them, lest i’d forget some more.
odd. not bad, but odd.
another thing i’ve been thinking is that other people, “real” comics, they don’t just keep doing all new stuff. they have their material and they do it over and over again, and they refine it and do it time and time again. i’m sure they add and subtract things, but i think it would be nice to be able to work with the same stuff for a while, so that it could be as good as possible.
maybe i should take things from the different shows i’ve done, and compile them into one show.
but the thing is, i already have these ideas for different ones anyway.
perhaps i should JUST STOP WRITING NOW AND GO TO SLEEP.
because, since it’s now almost 2:30 in the morning, i’m afraid i’m going to start the new year TIRED. not a good way to start the new year.
but there’s always the possibility of a good nap…
ok then.
2007 grace.