damnitall damnit. it’s 3:41 a.m. and i just heard a bird chirp outside even though they should be fast asleep.
as should i.
definitely, fast, soundly, completely asleep. sitting here in front of a computer screen is, of course, a horrible way to help me get back to sleep. but i was lying there and lying there and after an hour of that, i was just mad.
maybe it’s because i drank a margarita when we went out to dinner, then had a glass of wine when i got home. too much alcohol can cause sleeplessness.
maybe it’s the 13,451 hershey’s kisses that randy gave me when i went to his house to look at his stupendously amazing kitchen and dining room. i mean, dazzling, he needs to start entertaining immediately.well, after the stove is installed and the new counter and sink, and he puts up the gorgeous frank lloyd wright border, and a couple other little things.
he now has a beautiful, beautiful real wood floor, plus he painted the cabinets and the door to the garage metalllic gold and it’s so cool that i want to start painting my cabinets tomorrow. he painted the walls and the ceiling and i was gonna help him with all the huge amount of work, but stuff happened…
but anyway, even though things are, of course, a mess, cause of the huge and vast amount of redecorating, he dug around and pulled out a BIG BAG OF HERSHEY’S KISSES; he’d given me a few of them in a cute box for my birthday, but here was the motherlode of kisses.
of course i immediately started eating them the instant he handed them to me, and of course i ate the greater part of the 13,541 while watching a great episode of “dr. who” later last night.
but well, my lack of sleeping right now probably has something to do with the fact of dad dying. maybe when i finally have time to just sit down and reflect, i’ll be able to do more grieving during the daylight hours. as it is, there has been furious activity of one kind or another since way before he died, when he first went to the hospital, then mollie was diagnosed with cancer, then dad went back to the hospital…
today his big obituary will be printed in the paper. i’m pretty surprised at the number of people who hadn’t heard he died. when kevin and i took mollie for a short walk around the lane, a neighbor stopped us and asked how dad was doing. last night, another neighbor said he was sorry to hear that dad had passed away – he’d just heard it from my brother.
dad actually wrote his own obituary. we added to it a lot, because he was such a modest person that he left out many important things.
he didn’t want any kind of a memorial or anything at all, so we’re not technicallly obeying his wishes, but i do know that he loved a good party, and i’m hoping that’s what it’ll be.
whew. i’m also not sleeping because of the anxiousness of many, many things left to do before saturday. i know they’ll get done, and i know it won’t matter if they don’t all get done, but try telling that to middle-of-the-night grace.
ok then,
really sleepy me.