11:13  a.m.:

it’s just that kind of day.

well, i did it.  mostly i feel WHEW.

whew.

tired.  instead of lolling around in my jammies, continuing to eat the malted milk balls that i found in the pantry and was very excited about, i’m having to START IN ON OUR STUPID TAXES.

cause this morning kevin said “now that your show’s over, we need to start the taxes.”  and i was thinking, taxes, why taxes now, we have plenty of time…then i remembered that it’s now APRIL 10TH!

GOOD GRIEF!

now wait a minute, i have to stop so kevin can read some stupid VERY IMPORTANT TAX STUFF that i have to type into the computer.

grrrrrr…..

11:54 a.m.

I HATE TAXES!  i have to do so much inputting and stuff for my business, yuck yuck yuck.  but i’ve made good progress and now i need a BREAK!

the show went pretty well, and the place seemed pretty full, and the did seem to do quite a bit of laughing.

the thing is, i was going to try to take it kind of easy yesterday, but that didn’t really happen much.  then, we got to st. john’s plenty early, and i practiced, and we made sure everything worked, but then for some reason i felt that it would take no time at all to get into my dress, but of course it took much longer than i thought, so i had no time to just sit down and relax, or at least sit dwn and take deep breaths and not freak out.

but instead, i was flying around until i had to come dancing in!

kevin said i was rushing through it a little at the beginning, but then i calmed down.  and i talked…and talked…and talked.

i realize that this is the most wordy show i’ve ever done.  even the first few that i did on my own, even though they were two acts, with maybe 45 minutes to a half hour in each act, i had at least short videos, where i could sit down and compose myself and take a break.

but because i had SO VERY MUCH TO SAY this time, i had not time to show my “zumba” video, which would have been funny when talking about stress, although not completely relevant, although i could have first talked about the stress of making the video or something…but it didn’t matter, it was all TALK TALK TALK, longer than ever!

when i finally felt my groove, i was enjoying it, and tromping all over the stage in my brand new big white wedge sandals.  i was SO TALL!  but since i just bought them on wednesday, i hadn’t walked in them much at all.  and i did a LOT of walking all around in the show, and it was a little hot up there and near the end, maybe four minutes or even less before it was going to be all over, i got a big laugh on something i’d never gotten a laugh on in rehearsals, and then…

MY MIND WENT BLANK.

what a horrible, horrible, sickening feeling, and i just stood there and it was COMPLETELY QUIET and i thought WHAT IF I JUST CONTINUE TO STAND HERE IN SILENCE???

of course i should have tried to cover it or something, but no, it was just SHEER PANIC.

it seemed to last for an hour, the silence, but i think it was just a few seconds, and i mumbled “i’ve lost my train of thought,” and i think that kicked my brain into working again, and i managed to finish up, but then for the last little bit, in my head i was going YOU MORON WHY DID YOU DO THAT?  so then i forgot to mention one little thing that tied earlier things into things and wrapped them up, but luckily nobody knew that but me, and kevin, who had heard it many times.

and also, there was a really funny thing about this – during the talk i talked about how i have a horrible memory, and i was sure i’m getting alzheimer’s – so, during the HORRIBLE DEAD SPACE, mom said she heard somebody murmer “alzheimer’s!”

HAHAHAHAHA!  i WISH THEY’D SAID THAT OUT LOUD!  it woulda gotten a big laugh, and i know i’d have laughed.  and if i’d had any presence of mind at all, I’D have said it!

but nope, just a deer in the headlights…NEXT TIME i’ll remember to say that.

whew.  i do have a couple of photos, but no time for that now.  plus i don’t have any photos of me in the outfit!  maybe somebody has one and will send it to me, or i can grab one off the video.

ok then, BACK TO STUPID TAXES,

mrs. g. hughes, big talker.