yesterday, Christine told me that i need to get AOl instant messenger on my computer, and also yahoo IM. she said that i’m the only friend she has who isn’t on these vital and necessary IM programs. i said, why do i need to do this? she said, she and jerri IM each other all the time, for example. and pointed out again that i’m the ONLY ONE who’s not on board. i pointed out to her that we talk on the phone quite a bit, sometimes a few times a day. and i send her e-mails, sometimes very long ones because i can’t help it. and she said that now, we’ll be able to communicated INSTANTLY. and everybody’s doing it.
i said, next there will be a hologram of you, so it will be just like you’re right here, instead of in denver. she pointed out that there are webcams, and i shuddered at the thought. so i’d have to look presentable while writing? the great thing about writing is that i can do it when i first get out of bed in the morning, or the middle of the night, and it doesn’t matter how i look or what i’m wearing.
i told her i’d get right on it. except yesterday i needed a break from all things computer, so i didn’t do it then. maybe today. or tomorrow.
the thing is, i used to have aol im as well as yahoo. this was when i was a slave in an office in LA, bored out of my mind most of the time. when you’re sitting at a desk, no matter if you’re bored or even if you’re busy, it’s nice to IM people, it’s like chatting with friends only nobody can hear you. but now that i’ve been liberated forever from an office, i don’t imagine that the IM will be so practical for me. for one thing, i’m not a short im kind of person. if you know me, you know that i write very long e-mails, because i can’t help it. sometimes i write books worth of stuff. ok, not books so often, maybe just the one time, but still, i write a lot. and also, if i’m online, i’m probably looking a bunch of stuff up, or i’m writing something (like this), and the IMs break my concentration.
but i’ll sign up anyway, to make christine happy. even though we’ll probably never be online at the same time, since much of my onlining is in the evening or in the middle of the night.
AND, the funny thing, she said that usually when she is connected to her IMs, she’s HIDDEN from everybody! so she’s just lurking there, only making her presence known when she feels like it. i imagine that’s how many people must do it. so when i get the IM, people will be skulking around, WATCHING ME.
but luckily they won’t be able to actually see me. all they’ll know for sure is that i’m sitting down somewhere (or lying in bed), pounding the keyboard.
christine, by the way, is naturally quite thin (and lovely), and she can’t really afford to injure herself. i’ve written about how she eats anything and everything, and HATES to exercise, but i forgot to mention that naturally thin part. she said people will think she weighs 400 pounds.
but anyway, she went skiing over the weekend. i kept telling her DON’T GO SKIING! because i hate skiing, it’s VERY VERY DANGEROUS. i don’t believe in doing something that involves hurtling yourself downhill over ICE AND SNOW, wearing skis that are WAXED IN ORDER TO BE EVEN MORE SLIPPERY AND TREACHEROUS.
skiing and i don’t get along so well. have i told you about trying to learn to ski in the austrian alps? i have yet to recover from the psychological trauma.
anyway, christine thinks skiing is FUN, for some crazy reason. WHAT ABOUT SONY BONO? i asked her. WHAT IF YOU RUN INTO A TREE AND DIE?
she promised she wouldn’t run into any trees.
she called me after she got back, and i was relieved that she was still able to phone (but could she still instant message?). she was fine, she said, except at the end of the day she fell face-first and twisted her knee, but by now it’s a lot better.
whew. SHE BARELY ESCAPED DEATH, and i asked her to please think of another sport. like i said, she hates most exercise and we almost ruined our friendship when we went hiking together.
but yesterday my friend thad called me, from DC. Thad is very fit, works out all the time, he’s in great shape. and he’s been skiing since he was a teenager, unlike christine, who’s only done it a few times.
thad was also skiing, somewhere out there by DC, and he BROKE HIS SHOULDER. He’d been doing jumps all day, and by the end of the day he was tired and fell and BROKE HIS SHOULDER. i don’t like to even imagine the kind of pain he must have been in.
the thing is, i hadn’t even known he was going skiing, so i didn’t have the opportunity to warn him of the GRAVE DANGER he was exposing himself to. plus, since he is in such good shape, and he’s so experienced, i probably would have figured he’d be ok.
BUT SONY BONO WAS AN EXPERIENCED SKIIER, TOO.
i told thad i’d do anything i could for him – i yelled at him because he’s driving even though one arm is taped to his stomach – and he said i could come out and drive him around and help him with doing, well, everything, since he doesn’t have use of his arm. i said, sure.
it’s nice to have good friends, but they require CONSTANT CARE AND SUPERVISION. maybe they all need to move here to spfld, where it’s much too flat to hurt yourself hurtling downhill.
unless you were to go sledding at pasfield park, which as far as i’m concerned is SUICIDE.
ok then, go ahead and IM me in the next day or so (unless, of course, i’m HIDDEN),
grace always vigilant