ONE MORE NIGHT of rehearsal before the show! how is this possible? i have no idea.
ok, here’s the thing i wanted to say about losing my glasses – at first, i feared the worst, that they were gone forever. this is all part of how i always “panic first, ask questions later.” and then i found them, which was a relief…but then they were badly damaged. but then they were fixed, but who knows how long the tenuous fixing will last. they could go at any time.
so, what was the point i was going to make? who am i, again? i went to wal-mart after rehearsal, because right after i found my glasses, my hands-free thing for my cell phone spontaneously broke. i didn’t step on it this time or anything, it just quit working, poof. so i got two new ones at wal-mart – i was so enthusiastic about them, i almost bought three, but i decided that was perhaps a bit overboard.
anyway, then i was looking for a new journal, because my old one is almost full, but i couldn’t find the perfect notebook. i need one that’s smaller than 8 1/2 x 11, but has lots of pages. i gazed at the display of notebooks, and it suddenly seemed completely overwhelming. they actually didn’t have anything i needed, but i kept staring at them, thinking that somehow one would materialize. this is when i realized that i am, indeed, very tired.
so, the glasses…first, i guess i should have more faith, because i did actually find them. and then, they were damaged, as many things/people are. nothing is perfect. and then, there was a lot of uncertainty about them being fixed, but i knew i had no alternative but to try to see if they could fix them. and they did – once again, that’s about having faith in fixing things. seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow…where IS that pot of gold, anyway?
this guy named jeff plays an irishman named mike in the play. he makes a damn good irishman.
but then, the glasses were repaired, but they kept telling me that they can BREAK AT ANY TIME. and i guess this is like life, in that you should hope for the best, and have faith, but, of course, you’ll never know when things will be destroyed.
hmm, i don’t think i was thinking of things quite that bleakly this afternoon. but that’s when i had a lot more brain power than right now. i guess i mean that things could be destroyed at any time, just like you could walk out the door and get hit by a bus tomorrow morning. so it’s CRITICAL that you try to make the best of this imperfect life, because it’s the only one you have, and you have no idea how long you’re going to have it. and maybe things won’t be lost forever, and there is always a glimmer of hope, no matter how small, that things will actually be improved.
perhaps i should take a philosophy class.
chistine has been crabby for a while, which is perfectly understandable, because she’s alive and dealing with being a person and all of that weighty stuff, but i know she’ll snap out of it. maybe tomorrow morning i’ll call her up and sing the “can o’ beans” song for her. that should cheer her up considerably, since “paint your wagon” is one of her FAVORITE movies. it is kind of tragic that she won’t be here to see any of the performances.
“when i learned to talk, the word they taught me was good-bye. that and ’where’s my hat’ are all i need until i die. aching for to stop and always aching for to go…searching but for what i never will know…”
i just typed those words from memory, i’ll have you know. i’m not entirely sure i’ll be able to remember them in the finale, but there’s always that hope…
whew. GO TO SLEEP NOW. i was going to turn the light out at 12 exactly, but now it’s 12:10.
good night. if you come see the show, i’ll be the one with the very very long very very blonde banana curls, plus the french accent.
ok then,
grace who should have been asleep an hour ago, or at least 20 minutes ago.