I was starting to listen to dave brubeck’s “time out,” but decided it was just a little…busy. Too much energy for right now. So instead I put on a cd that may or may not have been a gift. Either that, or I’ve accidentally stolen it. It’s some truly lovely piano music.
Today has been both good and bad. Good, because for some reason my mood has been pretty darn good. This was a refreshing and delightful change, and I’d like more days like this.
Bad, because I injured myself.
But I injure myself quite a lot, so this is nothing new. But it’s a little bit challenging to give massages when I’m in quite a bit of pain. I’ve just self-medicated myself, and who knows, maybe I’ll sleep through the night, and I’ll feel all better tomorrow.
I broke my toe once, and that was really awful because I couldn’t exercise for six weeks. I’m always running into walls and things, so I always have at least a couple of bruises.
And sometimes I hurt myself when working out. Like today. Yesterday I decided it was finally time to GET SERIOUS ABOUT WEIGHT-LIFTING. Because if I don’t, my bones will become brittle eventually, and they’ll break, and that will be very, very bad.
Realistically, I must note, that this would probably never, ever happen, because I’ve always been a huge fan of all dairy products. I feel that my bones are very heavy and dense.
But anyway, yesterday I started with lower body weight-lifting. It went Ok. Today I did upper body, and it went kind of OK, except I had more energy this morning so I was more vigorous. I then went to hang up something in my locker and I stretched and a little muscle in my back went “sprooooiiinnnngggg.” Ow. At first, the pain was so bad that it was difficult to take a deep breath. I’ve been taking painkillers all day, and right now the pain is only somewhat annoying.
I almost launched into a philosophical discourse on physical vs. emotional pain, but you can imagine what I’d have to say about it, so I’ll skip that for now. I’m sure you can fill in the blanks.
Here’s one good AND bad thing about today – I took a nap. I was so happy to take a real, true nap, one that lasted more than 13 minutes, which is all I had time for on Saturday afternoon. This was a delicious, totally satisfying 40 minute nap. It was so quiet here in the middle of the day, so nice to just fall asleep. When I woke up, I couldn’t believe I’d slept that long.
I felt great. So energized, and when 4:30 in the afternoon rolled around, the time when I’m usually ready to sleep, I was, instead, very energetic.
The downside to this is sleeping through the night. I’ve been having a hard enough time doing it without a real nap, but now how will I ever sleep tonight? I do feel tired, at least, so that’s something. Interesting, though, that 4:30 a.m. is the time I always wake up. There’s something about those 4:30 times. Last night I woke up at 4:30 and was awake for about an hour and a half.
Here’s something funny – while drying my hair at the Fit Club this morning, these women next to me were having a long discussion about…not being able to sleep. One said she woke up at three and couldn’t sleep, so she finally started reading, and she finally went back to bed at five, but then she didn’t want to get up at eight.
Does ANYBODY sleep through the night? My friend Kate says she does. But if all these people are up in the middle of the night, maybe we should start doing something. For one thing, we could call each other. But on the other hand, I don’t know how coherent I’d be at 4:30 in the morning. But I FEEL darned wide awake.
It seems we could be doing something more productive than talking on the phone, though. Something worthwhile. Maybe I should clean. Maybe I should volunteer for some all-night hotline. But the problem is that I wouldn’t want to have to be awake all night, just from about 4:30 till 6 or so.
So, a both good and bad day. Much, much better than an all-bad day. Not so bad to be living here in the now.
Ok then,
Very zenful grace