…and there’s really only the one thing wrong with napping…and that’s that i had a lovely half hour nap this afternoon, but now when i should be sleeping, i’m WIDE AWAKE.

a minor flaw. i could very well be wide awake at 4 a.m., like i was last night, so maybe i’m just having my wide-awakeness a little early tonight.

the other night when i wrote about the triathlon, i really got very sad about the whole thing, very weepy and despondent about the prospect of coming in DEAD LAST in the race, which i was sure was going to happen. i must interject that at least i was feeling weepy and sad because of a race instead of because of some man. but anyway, i was incredibly over-tired and that’s why i had a little breakdown. i guess i didn’t get really upset until i stopped writing about it. or perhaps i was just being self-censoring, as i do way too much anyway (THIS IS CENSORING?? you’re asking yourself. trust me, it is).

B. (Bubba) gave me a pair of quick shoe laces. they’re not called “quick tie” because you don’t actually tie them; i don’t know the official name. you lace them into your running shoes and then instead of wasting precious time tying your shoes in between triathlon events, you just pull the shoes on without tying because of the clever stretchy laces. i may or may not be able to figure out how to actually lace them up. i’m going to work on it tomorrow.

it was very sweet of B. to do this for me, but i honestly think it’s going to help my overall time, which is sure to be VERY VERY SLOW and i keep trying to STEEL myself for coming in last. steeling away, am i.

randy had a great idea for improving my speed – he talked about a toy he had as a kid, it was called johnny something maybe, but i think i’m just makng that up – it was a man with a jet pack on his back, or you could put the jet pack thing in a car or a space ship or a boat, and it would propel it along. randy said i need a jet pack for the swim, and this is, of course, the perfect idea. i only have a few days to find one, but i’m sure they must sell them on ebay.

i saw “bewitched” tonight, finally, and it was kind of disappointing. it could have been better-written, as is the problem with most comedies. i bet somebody had a great script, and then they messed with it and made it worse. dumbed it down. but it was fun going to a movie, escape from reality and all of that. i want to see “batman begins,” too.

so much to do, so little time.

that’s not really so accurate with me. i feel kind of busy lately, but it’s not like i’m rushing around like a mad person. i’m sure i’ve written about this before, but i think it was a long time ago – the fact that all of america seems to be caught up in this frenetic pace, and everybody needs to take time out, get away from it all, but nobody has any time because of the many demands on them, or the demands they put on themselves – but that’s just not how it is with me. i have many fewer responsibilities than most people, for one thing, and i know i’m one of the few lucky people who actually has time to nap. actually, my sister naps as much as she possibly can, but the rest of the time she’s flying around like a maniac. i never achieve that, and i don’t really want to.

i don’t know why i keep thinking about early america settlers so much lately, but i keep thinking about how hard that life had to have been. and then i think about what they’d make of our lives now. for one thing, they’d think camping was INSANE, since we have so many miraculous modern conveniences. but perhaps they’d prefer sleeping under the stars. but just think about how our lives in now way resemble the settlers’ lives. weird, isn’t it? and what will it be like at the beginning of the next century? and do you ever get depressed thinking about the fact that you won’t see it, do you ever sit around and think about the fact that life is terminal? when i start thinking like that, i know i’m in a downward spiral. nothing can make me feel quite as bad that quickly as thinking about the fact that i’m going to be dead at some point. this it the advantage that animals have – they never waste valuable time worrying about the inevitable. my cat, winnie, as a matter of fact, is stretched out beside me, napping in paradise because i gave him the rest of my ice cream. for him, life couldn’t possibly be any better.

there’s a screenplay idea for you – early american settler gets transported into the future. a big rip-off of other time travel films, but maybe it has some potential.

watching the trailers tonight before the movie, it seems like every movie now is about action heroes. i once wrote a script about a woman action hero who saves the world, and a producer i told about it wouldn’t even read it because he said nobody wanted to see a woman saving the world. i was clearly before my time.

maybe i’ll start some kind of movement, some movement involving napping and relaxing and hanging out and doing fun, creative stuff as much as possible, and then i can write books on the subject, and can do infomercials and then have a talk show or maybe just be on talk shows; having my own show would be too much work, and then i can go around and give lectures on the topic, and then i can get really really rich and buy a house in malibu. christine and i talk quite a bit about buying a house together in malibu someday, except she doesn’t really want to because it’s going to fall into the ocean eventually, and i guess i don’t really want to because it’s just too crowded in southern california. so instead of malibu, somewhere along the western coast, maybe northern california. i’d like to drive up the coast again and explore it; the last time i did that, we were in much too big a hurry (with no reason to be in this big hurry), and i keep thinking about the beautiful places we rushed by.

travel, time to do some traveling again. must get to work making a plan. a list. prioritize, strategize, alphabetize…

but first, i’m going to be just resting now.

ok then,

grace still feeling very alert and awake but maybe darkness will promote sleeping.