is that it’s so quiet and peaceful now.
not a sound anywhere, except for the sound of my fake waves gently lapping the electronic shore.
where would i be without a sound machine?
if it was summer, i could get up right now and take a walk, and it would be very quiet and peaceful and still and lovely…
oh yeah. except for the barking dog.
the barking dog is the reason i’m awake right now. well, the barking dog was the reason i woke up at two. and the inability to fall asleep again is the reason i’m still awake.
the barking dog has stopped barking, at least. at last.
the waves continue to lap.
people have been asking me if i really met jay leno, and if he really is a bastard.
yes, and yes.
well, that’s just my opinion of course. the thing is that he left me a really sweet-sounding message on my voicemail. i had arranged to interview him after he did standup down in hermosa beach (the place i’m going to go when i’m really old), but when i got to the club to see his act, i didn’t press anybody to make sure he knew i was there because by that point i was quite sure he wasn’t interested in talking to me.
but he was, and that’s why he left the nice message.
so i waited another week, went to the club again, and he did meet me…but he just met me to yell at me, to ask where i’d been the week before. he was all sprawled out on his chair in the green room, which was really tiny and filled with an enormous table on which was the remains of jay’s dinner. he was also distracted by a football game on tv. this was at the end of january, so it was one of those VERY VERY IMPORTANT AND CRICITAL TO LIFE AS WE KNOW IT football games…uh, i can’t remember what it’s called. all i know for sure is it’s not the rose bowl, because they just had that (unless it’s tomorrow?).
anyway, mr. leno was just kind of rude and pompous to me and i felt really stupid talking to him.
but this was great fodder for a couple of columns i wrote about the experience. and then i described it in even greater detail at “gracetalk #2.”
sometimes i wonder what would have happened if i’d been more assertive in trying to get him to talk to me that first week. well, he’d definitely have talked to me, and he probably would have been nice. but then, would the niceness have been the way he really is, or was his rudeness more his true personality?
so yeah, jay leno IS my arch-enemy now. it’s a little frustrating having an arch-enemy who doesn’t even remember my existence, much less know he’s my arch-enemy. the only way i can express my anger is to yell at the tv when his show is on, but i don’t yell anyway, so i just quietly turn off the TV. silent protest.
we don’t have rehearsal tonight, which was an unexpected surprise. some people in the cast are very excited about this because they get to watch a VERY IMPORTANT AND CRITICAL TO LIFE AS WE KNOW IT football game. the somebodys against somebody else. and man it’s gonna be BIG. and QUITE EXCITING.
i, personally, am not going to be able to watch football. because i don’t care to.
ok, here’s one thing about the show i just did – i said that one thing i don’t like is sports that involve a ball of any kind, including (but not limited to) football, baseball, basketball, softball, soccer, tennis and golf.
i went on to talk about the fact that i don’t like these things because i cannot PLAY them. i can’t catch, and i can’t throw.
but right after i made that statement, somebody told me that people were BOOING me.
BOOING?! i’m annoyed by this. i didn’t hear the booing. if i had heard the booing, i’d have been mad. i mean, i’m just EXPRESSING MY OPINION.
i didn’t say anything like FOOTBALL IS INCREDIBLY BORING BECAUSE ALL THEY APPEAR TO DO IS RUN A LITTLE BIT AND THEN STOP PLAYING AND THERE ARE A BUNCH OF ADS AND IT LASTS ALMOST UNTIL THE END OF TIME AND IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO SEE WHAT’S GOING ON ANYWAY AND THE FOOTBALL PLAYERS CERTAINLY DO SEEM TO SPEND A LOT OF TIME GRABBING EACH OTHER’S ASSES.
i also didn’t even begin to talk about GOING TO A SOCCER MATCH IN LA WHICH IS SUPPOSED TO BE A VERY WARM PLACE BUT I WASN’T WEARING ENOUGH CLOTHES AND IT WAS QUITE CHILLY AND I WAS SURE I WAS GOING TO FREEZE TO DEATH AND THE WIND WAS WHIPPING FIERCELY THROUGH THE STANDS AND WE WERE SITTING TOO FAR AWAY TO SEE WHAT WAS GOING ON ANYWAY EXCEPT TO BE ANNOYED BY THE REALLY REALLY DRUNK FANS SCREAMING ALL OVER THE PLACE.
so i guess this is all the yelling i ever do. CAPITALIZING things. no yelling in real life reality, just capitalizing things right here.
but even then, usually i’m just capitalizing for EMPHASIS, not because i’m mad.
i guess i usually don’t find too much to be mad about.
the barking dog, i do have to admit, was disturbing. because here it is, almost two hours later, and i’m still wide awake. more and more wide awake, i might as well go running…except for the darkness/cold.
jay leno, arch-enemy. sports, perfectly fine if that’s what you enjoy but please don’t BOO me for god’s sake just because i don’t happen to have a sports obsession.
ok.
g.