i’m a gemini, fyi. i was born may 24, in case you’re wanting to get an early start on the gifts. but gemini, that means twins, or a split personality. but for me, it’s not so much a split personality as it is a mood that changes in a split second. happiness to anger, depression to delight, all in the blink of an eye.
like this morning. mood, changed. just like that. the sun went behind the clouds, we’re back to dark and dreariness. and my mood, all of a sudden, just pissed off.
somebody was trying to say something about my surliness, that it seems kind of…i don’t remember what they said exactly, i was kind of tired…they said it seemed like pretty tame and mild surliness. surly lite.
but the feeling of being pissed off…not lite. truly, genuinely pissed.
so then i went running.
anger is a great fuel for running. i ran 15 minutes out, and went a whole lot farther than i’ve been going recently.
and it helped. running helps almost everything. my feeling of anger subsided a little as i ran fast fast fast (fast for me, you understand, and it’s not really fast at all), and then on the way back, i wasn’t as pissed.
because nothing really matters.
nope.
nothing.
matters.
so i’m back to this dull feeling of surliness. which i can deal with. regular surliness.
and now i shower and get ready for stuff.
and if you happen to be reading this, and you happen to be going to the show tonight, well…up there on the stage, i’m going to appear relaxed and happy and like i’m having a really good time. because i know on some level that’s really how i feel.
but underneath, who knows where the mood will be by then.
see ya later alligator.
surly g.