When i got up this morning, amy was down at the dock feeding the swans. “they don’t like pumpernickel,” she announced when she came up to the house. then, “i’m gonna look up online what they like to eat,” she said, which was a very good idea. we’d both talked about buying massive amounts of day-old bread for the poor hungry swans.
i looked it up and it’s VERY IMPORTANT NOT TO FEED SWANS (or geese or ducks, for that matter, not that they would come anywhere near you to get any food) ANY BREAD OR CHIPS. nor doughnuts, nor cookies nor cereal, nothing processed, NO BREAD. i mean, who knew?
our next step, i told amy, is that we must make little placards reading DO NOT GIVE ME ANY BREAD and laminate them and hang them around the swans’ necks. surely other people around the lake feed the swans, too, and of course they feed them bread, because that’s what you’d do, isn’t it?
they can have popcorn, so we popped up some of that. amy fed them a bag, i fed them a bag, and then this afternoon i fed them another bag and so did she.
the swan website said that swans pretty much only ate plants and stuff in the summer, so giving them veggies like shredded carrots, lettuce, and spinach is an awesome supplement. i brought down a big handful of spinach along with the popcorn.
THE SWANS REFUSED THE SPINACH.
i mean, they wouldn’t even look at it. maybe our swans are anti-vegetarians; maybe they’re sick to death of eating the plants and just want popcorn.
anyway, when we fed them the bread before WHEN WE WERE IGNORANT FOOLS AND DIDN’T KNOW ANY BETTER, there would come a point when the swans didn’t want any more, maybe because they knew that IN THE LONG TERM, BREAD WILL CAUSE THEM SERIOUS DIGESTIVE ISSUES, AND MAYBE EVEN DEATH.
but they can’t get enough of the popcorn. right now as i type, they’re circling around by the dock and i’m feeling bad that i’m not inviting them up for a drink and a snack.
you can also feed them grains, like oatmeal (UNCOOKED, of course). tomorrow i’ll try a little oatmeal.
our neighbor told us he’s thinking of buying some swans and keeping them as pets. don’t ask me why they wouldn’t just fly off; i think somehow the swans can become imprinted on you and then they don’t want to leave.
i think our swans are imprinted on us.
the website also said that “they might have to get used to” lettuce. maybe it’s the same thing with spinach; i’ll bring a little down to them tomorrow, to see if they warm up to it at all.
if not, popcorn it is. amy and i each bought two big bags, which should last them a few days at least.
ok then,
mrs. very very cold january hughes.