I’ve decided to become a Buddhist monk. Is there a school for that? Somewhere in Central Illinois? I wonder what the requirements are for getting in, and how much it costs. Can you get a student loan? Could I be a graduate assistant, or the equivalent thereof? I wouldn’t have to travel to some remote country, would I? Not that I’d ever turn down any chance to go anywhere, but at the moment I’m saving up my money to walk across England.
I started meditating a couple of weeks ago, because I kept reading about it all over the place. Lots of magazine articles everywhere, listing all the fabulous benefits of regular meditation. Peace. Serenity. The ability to see things more clearly. It seemed to be calling to me.
Sign me up! I thought. So far my meditation practice is going pretty well; for some reason I do have an ability to just sit quietly. My mind is usually on warp-speed, and I’m actually able to noticeably slow it down by meditating. Sometimes I even feel calm and peaceful and relaxed when I’m through.
I told Mom about meditating, and she decided she’d take a class in it. I figured, why do I need a class, since it’s just about sitting and being peaceful? I was a little surprised that she went to the class, and then went returned the next week, because Mom is even more antsy than I am when it comes to sitting still. It has to be really compelling in order to get her to stay. Maybe that’s where I get my desire to FLEE all the time from. Mom. Makes sense.
But anyway, she went to two classes, and kept asking me if I wanted to go to one, and first I said, no way, but then I figured it might not be bad.
The teacher’s name is Bridget, and the class was, indeed, really good. When Mom said it lasted an hour and a half, I thought, how will I ever stand a class that lasts that long? But like I said, Mom would have left halfway through and never gone back if there wasn’t something to it.
Bridget talked about all kinds of interesting things. It started at nine o’clock this morning, and I was up very late last night, so I wasn’t very well-rested. Some of the things sort of floated over my head. I kept wishing I had my notebook so I could jot down notes, but then realized I’d probably be trying to jot down everything she said. A lot of it was that you have to take care of yourself, and listen to your body. One important thing is that you have to live in the present. You have to accept the good and the bad, all the things that happen to you, and you have to try to “leave the judge at the door.”
What a good idea. All I do is judge everything, mostly myself, and if I could get beyond this, that would be a very good thing.
Bridget also said that when meditating, you shouldn’t feel like you’re doing something wrong because your mind drifts. She said that an important aspect of the meditation practice is that you pull your mind back to concentrate on breathing. The drifting is naturally going to occur, but pulling it back trains you to let go.
One meditation exercise we did was eat a couple of raisins. We had to eat them really slowly, putting them up to our mouths, then slowly eating them, feeling what it tasted like, all the sensations that went with it. I know is sounds a little strange, but it was quite interesting. Lots of people talked about how delicious the raisin tasted; one woman said it evoked memories from when she was a child and loved eating them, but only got the little box so she ate them slowly, savoring each one.
See, that’s what it’s all about – savoring all the moments, being IN THE MOMENT. Instead of rushing through everything, not thinking. It’s kind of like the mindless TV-watching that most people do. Why are you doing it? To shut things out, to escape, because you’re bored? Turn off the TV. Find something else to occupy your mind. Just a suggestion.
Anyway, we were each given a handful of raisins, and the teacher said we could eat the rest of them. Mom shaped hers into a smiley face on her leg for a while, and then she threw them away. She said later that she doesn’t even like raisins, but the two she ate were delicious. But then she didn’t need any more of them.
After class, I decided I want to study meditation, and it seems the Buddhist monks are all about the meditation, so that’s what I want to do. My next path in this life that is ever-changing. I’m starting to realize that maybe my life’s path is a particularly complicated one, full of sudden complete shifts. That’s how it’s been up to now, anyway.
This afternoon, I went downtown to the Food Mart, because they were having an Easter open house, and it was chock-full of tasty snacks and wine samples. To get there, we had to walk past all kinds of people clad in quite hideous St. Patrick’s Day attire. Most were in their mid-20’s, although there were plenty of older people too, and all were quite drunk. I wondered how many of them ever meditated. Or thought at anything at all.
None of them were in the Food Mart; inside, was a peaceful and serene orgy of eating and drinking. With no whooping and no big dayglo green hats.
Tonight, just now, I finally, finally staggered home from “The Aviator,” which lasted for approximately three days. It wasn’t horrible, really, but I became quite sure it would never end. There were some good things in it, but too many things. On and on and on and on.
Whew. Quite a Saturday, all in all. New path in life, tasty snacks, movie that lasted forever. Plus other random things, including exercise, more meditation, and a (too short) nap.
Tomorrow will be more restful. Perhaps.
Ok then,
grace all over the place