i’m trying to kill myself, but very very slowly…
one muscle at a time.
if you manage to damage all your muscles, would you die?
i wrote a few days ago about hurting my neck because of that one machine. it was like a squats machine.
very very bad for the neck.
so today i decided to do basic lunges, nothing fancy, very simple, no weights. because the trainer guy who knows everything said to use no weights or light weights and lots and lots of repetitions.
sounded good.
lots of weight can be awfully…heavy.
so i did some lunges, and then i did some more, and it was ok, as far as any of those monotonously incredibly boring kind of exercises can possiblly be…
and then i torqued my leg a little and heard/felt this weird sort of tearing/ripping sound in my upper thigh.
ouch. i stopped for a minute, but then it seemed ok, so i did some more.
i was ok all night, but then i sat around for a while and when i got up…ouch.
let me say it again.
ouch.
so in my quest to get into PERFECT SHAPE for this play, instead i’m going to be crippled/maimed/unable to even walk.
if i’m not careful.
i try to be careful. i really do.
i mean, really.
but for example, tonight i was at G.’s (geo’s) house, and i spilled wine all over the carpet. i actually kicked the wine bottle. but what was the wine doing on the floor anyway? isn’t that just an accident waiting to happen? not my fault.
ok, it probably was. all my fault. but at least it was white wine.
G. showed me lots of photos, including some photos of his honeymoon. he went to florida. i believe they hit all the major theme parks down there. it did look like fun, i’d have to admit. but G. got married pretty darn young. pretty darn.
when i was younger, i thought i’d want to honeymoon at disneyworld. and actually stay in one of those disney hotels, which pretty much seemed like paradise, at least from the descriptions and photos.
paradise.
i mean, breakfast with disney characters, what could be more romantic for a honeymoon?
but then i went to more places in the world. saw more stuff. experienced more things. and decided that maybe disneyworld was not, after all, the best place in the world to honeymoon.
and now i’m thinking, well…does it really need to be a honeymoon, anyway? yeah, the notion of marriage sounds kind of good in theory – theoretically there’s somebody to take care of at least part of the stuff, right? – but couldn’t a nice trip with someone you care about be good enough? without all the messy baggage that comes with marriage?
i’m just saying.
to tell the truth, even though i really really want to go to an island somewhere, one of those exotic places with white sand beaches and houses that sit actually over the water – i’d be perfectly happy to go back to disney world.
at this point in time, of course, any place where the sun is shining would be good.
lack of sunshine. not beneficial to one’s health.
ok, it’s approaching one thirty in the morning, i have no excuse to still be awake.
so perhaps i sleep now.
ok then,
sleepy grace.