i thought i HAD just written on here! JUST.

but i didn’t.

i’m not going to apologize because i can’t just spend the rest of my LIFE apologizing for not writing. much too tiring.

here’s a new and fabulous thing i found out yesterday – BECAUSE I’M GOING TO GET MARRIED I’M GOING TO GET SOME FREE CAKE!

somebody just told me that she went to a cake place when planning her wedding and it was delicious but she didn’t order a cake from there because it was too expensive. but she got free cake samples!

so, maybe i haven’t mention this, but i’m going to make my own cake. YOU’RE CRAZY, at least one person has told me, but most people i’ve told haven’t said anything because they know i can do crazy things. i’ve done MUCH more crazy things in my life, believe me. wedding cake, no problem. it’s not like i’m going to be decorating it the morning of the wedding or anything.

but i get to TRY FREE CAKE. so that’s awesome. much more fun than looking at ridiculously expensive rings. free cake, life is very good, if i’d have known about the free cake i’d have gotten engagaged LONG AGO.

oh, except for not getting asked.

it’s going to be delicious chocolate cake. maybe a carrot cake layer because MFH likes carrot cake. i don’t think that’s his favorite; maybe i should consult with him. he said we can do WHATEVER I WANT for the wedding but it would nice to have some input. like what kind of cake he likes. coconut, i know he likes that.

this woman who told me about the FREE CAKE also said that i need to expect people to show up for the wedding who i didn’t invite. this seemed very strange to me. she said that people would hear about it from other people and then they’d just show up. huh. maybe i need to get a bouncer.

i can think about that later.

free cake. life, good.

i sort of have the whole dress thing figured out too, but i want to go try on dresses just because i can. i have a feeling that they’ll be as serious about the dresses as the woman was about the diamonds which had various levels of CLARITY CUT and…one other thing, i can’t remember. lots and lots of hooey, i still maintain, COLOR, that’s the other thing, but probably they will be slightly less pretentious about the dresses since they wouldn’t cost as much as diamonds.

and perhaps they’ll serve cake and champagne. if i had a wedding dress store, i’d definitely serve cake and champagne. at least to give an upcoming bride the chance to practice eating and drinking while wearing a great big dress and not spilling on it.

but then again, i’d probably spill and then would have to buy the dress.

ok, even though diamonds are all a big scam of expensiveness, at least you do wear it forever (well, that’s how long i’m going to wear mine, as opposed to over half of marriages that end in divorce). but you buy a wedding dress and then wear it FOR A FEW HOURS.

this dress that i sort of already have and is hanging in a closet at my parents’ house in a garment bag and is very beautiful, i’m going to wear it first at my wedding, then i’m going to wear it around. i mean, i’m not going to wear it while going for walks or to the grocery store (but then again you never know), but i’ll definitely wear it out. if i get to do fancy things after getting married. which i assume i will. many fancy things. i might just wear it for my next one-woman show, so if you don’t get invited to the wedding or if you can’t make it, you can see the dress anyway. which is VERY IMPORTANT TO OTHER WOMEN i assume, based on how excited women i don’t know are about the engagement ring.

yes, there are other things going on in my life. no, i’m not just going to talk about getting married ALL THE DAMN TIME.

for example, i’m going to read the paper any day now because i’m sure there are many VITAL AND IMPORTANT THINGS going on all over the world not to mention here in spfld illinois that i’m NOT KEEPING UP WITH.

i’m going to a cabin concert this weekend. www.thecabinconcerts.com. have you been to one yet? if not, you should at least check out the website. it’s a completly unique and fun thing to do right here in spfld, except it’s technically just outside pleasant plains but that’s not far at all.

and also, VERY IMPORTANT, did you remember that sunday is MOTHER’S DAY? luckily randy is always remembering vital things like that, and we’re taking out mothers out for brunch.

you wouldn’t be here at all without having a mother, just remember that.

that’s all the wisdom for wednesday afternoon.

ok then,

may grace.