ok, it’s after MIDNIGHT, and i’m fiercely battling a cold that i WILL NOT LET TAKE OVER ME, and i should be sleeping, but i took an antihistimine about 10 minutes ago and i’m waiting for it to make me sleepy, and i HAVE TO TELL YOU ABOUT THIS:
DON’T GIVE YOUR BABY FRENCH FRIES!
i haven’t been reading the paper so much lately, and so i only sort of have any idea of what’s going on in the world (DON’T GO TO FRANCE RIGHT NOW!), but today there was something completely alarming in the paper. it was a bunch of statistics about babies, and what their (TOTALLY STUPID!!???) parents are feeding them.
here’s just a smattering of these horrific stats:
soda is served to babies as young as seven months old.
DON’T SERVE BABIES SODA.
if you happen to be a waitress in a restaurant and a seven month-old saunters in and asks for a diet coke, JUST SAY NO.
25% of 19-24 month olds are not eating ANY servings of fruit or vegetables a day!!!!!
GIVE YOUR TODDLER (is that what they are, the 19-24 month year olds? i think so) VEGETABLES AND FRUITS! DON’T BE A COMPLETE MORON!
jerri, i know you don’t like vegetables, and i know little lucy has a few months to go before you need to go out and buy actual fruits and vegetables, but please, PLEASE, buy them for her! i’m sure you will. you’re a fabulous mother, clearly. fabulous.
and here’s one more horrific one:
FRENCH FRIES ARE THE MOST COMMONLY CONSUMED VEGETABLE FOR TODDLERS FROM 15-24 MONTHS OLD!!!!
DON’T FEED YOUR TODDLER FRENCH FRIES!
i, personally, have no children. it’s highly unlikely that i’m ever going to have any children.
IF I HAD A BABY I WOULD NOT GIVE IT FRENCH FRIES AND A COKE AND THINK THAT’S A BALANCED MEAL.
ok, you know what i really think? i think that people should have to take a test in order to be parents. i really think they should have to take a whole series of tests, psychology tests, BASIC COMMON SENSE TESTS, tests with questions like “do you think it’d be a good idea to give your baby french fries and cokes?”
and then if the people don’t pass the tests, THEY’RE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE BABIES.
i’m sure this is very anti-something or other. not politically correct, but I DON’T SEE WHY NOT. I mean, really, REALLY, PEOPLE, DON’T BE SO STUPID.
i’m not talking to you, personally.
unless you’re sitting here reading this, stuffing a quarter pounder with cheese into your very small child’s mouth.
the article didn’t actually mention quarter pounders with cheese, it was mostly about fries, but i’m sure that the quarter pounders with cheese were not far behind.
i’m really hungry now.
soon we will have toddlers going to weight watchers. it would certainly liven up the meetings, wouldn’t it? how will they explain to the toddler about the point system, or whatever current thing that weight watchers is doing now?
i hope you survived monday. my own particular monday got better as the day progressed, except for class where i couldn’t stop blowing my nose, and i blow my nose really really LOUD but i didn’t even care. i’m sure i spread my germs to everybody in class. i’m sorry about that if i did. really sorry. erica is the only one in class who has any idea about this website anyway, and i told her i was going to give her my cold, because we had to share a play that we were reading out loud, and she said “i’m tough.”
that’s kind of like me saying that i’m going to WILL MY COLD NOT TO PROGRESS ANY FURTHER.
but really, seriously, i think it can be done.
the power of positive thinking.
christine just sent me a text message, and all it said was “snow.” but that’s to be expected in denver. but today on the radio all of a sudden they mentioned SNOW and SLEET, but none of that happened, and it felt kind of warm outside, actually.
i think i’m starting to hallucinate now, so i’d better go to sleep.
ok then,
grace drifting into tuesday.