that’s my problem. i should be MUCH MORE PESSIMISTIC, then i wouldn’t get my hopes up. because many times my hopes are DASHED upon the rocks.
i got to the endodontist’s office by eight a.m. SHARP, a tooth assistant girl was just getting out of her car when i pulled in, and they weren’t even ready for me because i was so prompt.
the guy first swabbed some numbing stuff on my gums before the dreaded shot, which was good, so the shot wasn’t so horrible…but then, another shot, in the back. and then ANOTHER shot in the front. THREE SHOTS. that’s a whole lotta novocaine.
and then he started…drilling, drilling, then using some little metal stick thing to poke around in the hole in the tooth, drilling, poking, on and on. it wasn’t horrible and i knew that eventually it’d be over and my week would be better right away.
this went on for almost an hour. i’d been told by others who had root canals that they lasted for an hour and a half, and since i’d already had a partial root canal, i figured that it shouldn’t last longer than that.
but then, AFTER A WHOLE HOUR OF POKING AROUND IN MY MOUTH, he announced to me that i didn’t have one big crack in my tooth, as the emergency partial root canal guy had said, I HAD TWO DAMN CRACKS IN THE TOOTH.
and so, therefore, i could continue getting the root canal, but the tooth wasn’t going to last so long. maybe six months, maybe a couple of years.
and then he talked about how i couldn’t probably have an implant because my sinus is too low down near my tooth, so i’d have to have a bridge which would involve grinding down the VERY GOOD TEETH on either side of the bad tooth which will soon be just a BIG GAPING HOLE. he kept talking about this, how it’s not good to grind down the good teeth and put crowns on them because all kinds of bad things could happen and of course crowns are never as good as having the good teeth.
so, fucked either way.
i was very very despondent at this point, i have to say. he left it up to me, whether to continue with the root canaling, or whether to stop. “what would you do?” i asked him. he said, well, that wasn’t fair because he had endodontist friends who would do all the work for FREE or next to nothing, and he could have the root canal done and then it would be no big deal to have the tooth pulled after a while. no big deal.
why didn’t i ask him WHAT IF YOU DIDN’T HAVE ANY RICH ENDODONTIST FRIENDS? too distraught.
he seemed to be telling me that i should have it pulled, so i decided that there was no point continuing with the tooth torture.
i left, but not before paying $250. plus the receptionist said that my insurance probably wouldn’t cover most of the bill because the tooth couldn’t be saved.
this logic is totally wrong, isn’t it? but i didn’t think of that right then, i only thought about having to have a tooth pulled, getting crowns which would surely lead to the demise of the perfectly good teeth next to the very bad tooth, everything was very bad, bad, bad. instead of walking out of there with my problems solved, they had only just begun.
plus, it was snowing, lots of blowing snow, bitterly cold again.
damn. i wallowed around feeling sorry for myself for a while. but then amy called me and told me how her teeth are worse than mine; she’s had at least three root canals, has two bridges because a very bad dentist pulled teeth he shouldn’t have when she was little, but the bridges have been in for a long time and she has had no problems with them. she also pointed out that my health is great and that i have insurance and the money to pay for the tooth stuff.
i really needed to hear this. I AM VERY LUCKY.
but then later, i got pissed off. why did the guy spend AN HOUR working on my tooth? how come he didn’t just take out the temporary filling, look through the high-powered microscope to see that there was, indeed a big crack PLUS ANOTHER ONE, and then send me on my way? surely he must have done all this stuff to a tooth THAT CAN’T BE SAVED ANYWAY because he wanted to stretch out the time and charge me two hundred and fifty bucks!
sometime last night i also let that go. i’m just assuming that he had his reasons, he didn’t want to lightly and quickly decide that the tooth was very bad. or he just did it so he could make a gob of money because that’s what he does. being an optimist makes me hope for the former.
i called my dentist yesterday and made an appointment for the consultation with the oral surgeon for the tooth-pulling. i don’t know why i need a consultation because the guy will pull the tooth and i don’t know why we have to have a discussion about it beforehand.
but whatever. he’ll pull it and i’ll look like a TOTAL HILLBILLY for a while, until it heals, and then i’ll have more grinding and all that crap on my two perfectly good teeth, but then i’ll have a lovely bridge and all will be good.
i told Dad about the prognosis and the guy who’d do the tooth-pulling and Dad went ON AND ON AND ON about how my brother David had had a very VERY BAD experience with this oral surgeon. dad pronounced him a MONEYGRUBBER AND A BUTCHER.
oh brother. in my rather fragile emotional state yesterday, this kind of sent me over the top. but then this, too, passed. ok, maybe the guy is a “butcher,” but he’s only pulling the one tooth. it’s not like he’s going to insist that they all need to come out. he pulled a bunch of david’s teeth at one time, but i have to think that david had a choice; he didn’t have to have them all pulled at once. i had a tooth pulled in LA when i got braces and people were freaking out all over the place, acting like this would be a huge big ordeal, but it wasn’t. i got drugs, the guy pulled the tooth out, end of story. at least there was no hour-long grinding and poking going on.
today things are better. there will hopefully be no tooth-related stuff for a couple of weeks, not till the consultation with the EVIL BAD MONEYGRUBBING BUTCHER.
ok then,
fortunate tuesday grace.