what a strange day its been. i haven’t gotten much done, but i don’t care. i did, indeed, exercise like crazy at the fit club, and i went home and took a nap! so I’m very, very well-rested now (but why do i still feel a little tired? maybe it’s TWO nap day). and yes, Morning Grace has departed, thank goodness. all that exercise flooded my body, washing her away till tomorrow.
this morning, before i wrote here, i sent somebody a sort of snarly e-mail. i don’t know why i did it, i shouldn’t have done it, i should have waited till i’d had a chance to at least wake up fully. but no, i had THINGS TO SAY, and i felt that i NEEDED TO SAY THEM RIGHT AWAY. Morning Grace, unchecked and out of control. sorry for that e-mail.
this is how i can be. i’ve generally been pretty good at keeping both graces in line, not letting either one send whatever thing i feel i have to SAY RIGHT NOW. if i can just wait a few hours, or even an entire DAY (which usually takes every last drop of willpower in my entire being), then i either don’t send the e-mail or i modify it and make it more rational, less nutty, either with anger/sadness/ or exhuberance.
right now i’m feeling pretty calm about every single thing. attempting in a zenlike way to be in the now, as opposed to the yesterday, even though it was a mighty good friday, and I’m not worrying about tomorrow.
Nighttime Grace has yet to appear.
my plan is to go out dancing with Randy tonight, possibly staying up very very late. i worry i might not be able to stay awake long enough to actually go out, that’s why another nap might be in order. i do have a cute dress picked out, which gives me a little motivation to actually do it. i look forward to dancing, because it’s been ages since i’ve done it. And Randy’s a really good dancer, and loves it as much as i do, maybe even more.
the only bad thing is i’ll come home smelling like smoke, and i might not get to bed till 1:30 or even later. but i’m not going to worry about that, i’m just going to go out and have fun.
ok then,
early evening grace, where things are mellow inside my head.