shadow didn’t have a very good day yesterday.  when i woke up, kevin had had a terrible time trying to get shadow to take his big blue pill.  he finally coerced him into taking it, but then he just didn’t want any food.  kevin fixed him hamburger and eggs and finally he ate a little…

as i was rushing around doing things yesterday…we’re making giant strides in finally starting to get our basement cleaned out of the vast quantities of stuff down there…shadow kept following me around.  as i cleaned out the hall closet he just came over and laid down and watched me work.

he ate a little lunch, he ate a little dinner, he was delighted to have a late-night treat of a few crackers – but i could tell things just weren’t right. after kevin went to bed, shadow threw up basically everything he’d eaten all day, i think…and this is what he did the night before, too.

and now, he just isn’t sleeping.  i keep waking up and he keeps walking around to a new spot.

i just don’t want him to be in pain.  i feel so sad.

amy and jim have been gone since last monday and they get home late tomorrow night.  he has to hang on till then.

i hope he sleeps for a while now.

even though we’ve known that things were bad and destined to get worse, that doesn’t make this any easier.   i’ve had this unreasonable pollyanna-ish idea that somehow he’d magically hang on, the tumors would shrink, he’d hang in there…he’s always been a very sweet but tough little dog.

i want to call the vet now and ask if we can give him more pain medication right now.  of course they’re not open.  and he’s sleeping, hopefully peacefully, for the moment.

so i guess i might as well go back to sleep too.

ok then,

goodnight,

grace hughes