{"id":1298,"date":"2008-08-29T12:29:15","date_gmt":"2008-08-29T17:29:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/graceuncensored.com\/WordPress\/?p=1298"},"modified":"2008-08-29T12:29:15","modified_gmt":"2008-08-29T17:29:15","slug":"bad-dog","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/graceuncensored.com\/WordPress\/uncategorized\/bad-dog\/","title":{"rendered":"bad dog"},"content":{"rendered":"

i’m going to not think about politics for a minute, and focus on my Very Bad Dog.<\/p>\n

Since moving to our new home, mollie has lost TWELVE POUNDS.\u00a0 a very good dog, but this is because we either take hour-long walks or good runs almost every single day.<\/p>\n

she is clearly trying to gain the weight back.\u00a0 first, a couple of days ago i brought home a large bag of dry dog food and another of dry cat food.<\/p>\n

we went out and when we came back she’d opened the cat food and eaten some of it.\u00a0 both bags were lying on the floor, so it was my own fault.\u00a0 but then we left again, thinking she wasn’t interested in the dog food because it’s old hat to her.<\/p>\n

we got home and of course she’d ripped it open and eaten a lot of it.<\/p>\n

then yesterday we came home to find a bag of mustard-n-honey pretzel bits on the floor.\u00a0 she’d ripped open the bag but hadn’t eaten many of them.<\/p>\n

but then we noticed the second bag of pretzels on the floor.\u00a0 she’s snarfed down most of them.<\/p>\n

the pretzels were in the pantry.\u00a0 i can’t remember if the pantry door was closed, but i hope it wasn’t, because if it was that means she’s learned how to push it open.<\/p>\n

this morning i rushed out the door and i can’t say if the pantry was open or closed.\u00a0 when i returned, there was a ripped-open bag of mini marshmallows in the middle of the living room.\u00a0 not so many eaten, clearly they’re not her favorite.<\/p>\n

but then, in front of the pantry was a mangled box of cereal.\u00a0 it was a really healthy kind, organic flaxseed oat cereal, and she clearly wasn’t so keen on that either.\u00a0 next to it, though, were the shredded remains of an entire box of 100-calorie packs, individually wrapped little carrot cakes with icing.\u00a0 not a bit of cake was left.\u00a0 of course she ate all the really delicious treats.<\/p>\n

i kept saying “bad dog” to her and she did look slightly guilty.<\/p>\n

i came in here to type and she proceeded to squash herself into the very small cat bed.\u00a0 how am i supposed to be mad at such a cute dog?<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

she quickly decided that she was forgiven and proceeded to deeply relax.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

this looks like a good way to spend friday.\u00a0 no worries in the world, a cushy (although ridiculously tiny) bed, and a tummy full of carrot cake.<\/p>\n

i hope your weekend is as good.<\/p>\n

ok then,<\/p>\n

friday grace.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

i’m going to not think about politics for a minute, and focus on my Very Bad Dog. Since moving to our new home, mollie has lost TWELVE POUNDS.\u00a0 a very good dog, but this is because we either take hour-long walks or good runs almost every single day. she is clearly trying to gain the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1298","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6JLYy-kW","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/graceuncensored.com\/WordPress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1298","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/graceuncensored.com\/WordPress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/graceuncensored.com\/WordPress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/graceuncensored.com\/WordPress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/graceuncensored.com\/WordPress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1298"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/graceuncensored.com\/WordPress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1298\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/graceuncensored.com\/WordPress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1298"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/graceuncensored.com\/WordPress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1298"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/graceuncensored.com\/WordPress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1298"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}