{"id":11455,"date":"2015-06-11T21:19:28","date_gmt":"2015-06-12T03:19:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/graceuncensored.com\/WordPress\/?p=11455"},"modified":"2015-06-11T21:19:28","modified_gmt":"2015-06-12T03:19:28","slug":"chomp-chomp-chomp-chomp-gnash-chomp-chomp","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/graceuncensored.com\/WordPress\/uncategorized\/chomp-chomp-chomp-chomp-gnash-chomp-chomp\/","title":{"rendered":"CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP chomp gnash crunch crunch"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>so i&#8217;m sitting here tonight trying to decompress after a week that has been just a bit too busy for my liking, and i heard les come in the back door, and pretty soon i realized he was sitting on the rug chomping away at something.\u00a0 so i got up to see; it looked like he was gnawing at his favorite toy.<\/p>\n<p>nope.\u00a0 uh uh.\u00a0 he was diligently working away at a MOUSE.\u00a0 CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH.<\/p>\n<p>oh boy.<\/p>\n<p>kevin already went to bed because because his week has also been very busy, and he was tired&#8230;and now lester is calmly, delicately, taking a post-feast bath.\u00a0 i looked at the rug and all that&#8217;s left is a PILE OF GUTS AND A TAIL.<\/p>\n<p>i would very very much like to wake kevin up now and ask him to dispose of it, but of course i won&#8217;t.\u00a0 but i NEED TO DO SOMETHING WITH IT, because couldn&#8217;t there be maggots or something in the morning?\u00a0 ewwww.\u00a0 but EWWWWW, having to deal with the offal right now&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>but let me back up &#8211; last week, amy and i brought over a couple of little dogs who were potentially going to stay here for a few days while their owners were out of town.\u00a0 the hyper terrier was on a leash, and the old and sad dog mostly just stood around.\u00a0 they weren&#8217;t here long, and i can&#8217;t say exactly what transpired except that the terrier vigorously sniffed at both chester and winnie, who did their best to ignore him.\u00a0 but then he was all in lester&#8217;s face and les got scared and tried to climb the fence that he&#8217;s been so good about not climbing over, and it was clear that the dogs wouldn&#8217;t be staying after all.<\/p>\n<p>so we took them back.\u00a0 and then, a couple days later, kevin started smelling a bad smell in the living room.\u00a0 he wondered if one of the dogs could have peed.\u00a0 i didn&#8217;t recall that, but like i said, the whole things was a little bit of a crazy blur.\u00a0 while i was busy out doing stuff, kevin washed all the blankets draped over the couch.<\/p>\n<p>but then i noticed the smell, too, and it was bad.\u00a0 kevin thought that the pee must have permeated the couch.\u00a0 we&#8217;d have to get it cleaned.<\/p>\n<p>amy came over and assured us that the dogs couldn&#8217;t have peed cause we had been with them the whole time.<\/p>\n<p>then, the next day, i was gone again, and kevin moved the couch.\u00a0 one section had millions of pull tabs from the top of creamer cartons, one of the kitties&#8217; favorite toys.\u00a0 there were also lots of kitty toys down thee, plus the two catnip pink socks that kevin gave them for xmas.\u00a0 we went to florida right after that, and so by the time we got back we&#8217;d forgotten them and the kitties had done an excellent job of pushing them way under the couch.<\/p>\n<p>but then kevin moved back another section of couch and THERE WAS A DEAD CHIPMUNK.<\/p>\n<p>good grief.\u00a0 of COURSE it wasn&#8217;t dog pee, because that DOES NOT SMELL NEARLY THAT BAD.<\/p>\n<p>i didn&#8217;t ask for any details about how bad it was, but he said it took him 10 minutes just to clean it off the floor.\u00a0 cause it was stuck.<\/p>\n<p>ewwww.<\/p>\n<p>it continues to baffle and amuse me that lester is the most loving, affectionate, funny and darling kitty EVER, but he&#8217;s also a ruthless bastard.\u00a0 when it comes to small animals.<\/p>\n<p>and now i bid you good night, and i&#8217;m happy to toddle off to bed&#8230;but first, i have to pick up the mouse parts.<\/p>\n<p>ew.<\/p>\n<p>mrs. g. hughes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>so i&#8217;m sitting here tonight trying to decompress after a week that has been just a bit too busy for my liking, and i heard les come in the back door, and pretty soon i realized he was sitting on the rug chomping away at something.\u00a0 so i got up to see; it looked like [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[39,94],"class_list":["post-11455","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-kevin","tag-les-paul"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6JLYy-2YL","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/graceuncensored.com\/WordPress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11455","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/graceuncensored.com\/WordPress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/graceuncensored.com\/WordPress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/graceuncensored.com\/WordPress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/graceuncensored.com\/WordPress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11455"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/graceuncensored.com\/WordPress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11455\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/graceuncensored.com\/WordPress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11455"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/graceuncensored.com\/WordPress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11455"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/graceuncensored.com\/WordPress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11455"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}