i haven’t written on here in the middle of the night for a long time. that’s not to say i haven’t been awake in the middle (i guess it’s closer now to the end) of the night in a while, but i’ve been lying here so long and my brain, instead of settling down, is way way too busy.

lots of things to think about. thinking about way too many things at this early hour. there are some things i should not think about AT ALL, because these are things i can’t change, i can’t do anything about, things that will send my mood in an unpleasant spiral downward. ok, so STOP THINKING ABOUT THEM. it would be very helpful, and i wish somebody would invent it already, to have some kind of switch one could operate in one’s brain, whereby the thoughts you wanted to get rid of could be GOTTEN RID OF.

the other day christine mentioned that movie “the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind,” and i’m pretty curious about renting it. it has kate winslet in it, and…jim carey? maybe not, maybe i’m just making that up. but one or both of them has their memory altered. but then christine said that at the end of the movie, they, or just one of them, whoever has had their memory altered, they just want it back again. and i bet they don’t get it. if that’s what happens, well they need to just GET OVER IT. a memory isn’t something you really NEED, now is it? it can really clutter up your brain. in harry potter, of course, they pull out strands of memory and put them in a pensive. except i don’t think it’s spelled like that, it’s not pronounced like “pensive,” anyway. pensEEve is how it’s pronounced. it would be nice to pull out offending bits of memory and store them someplace…but really, why would you want to store them, wouldn’t it be better to erase them? wouldn’t you just put them back in if you were feeling depressed, and you wanted to make yourself more miserable? that wouldn’t be any good. maybe you could take them out of your brain, and you’d THINK you were storing them somewhere, but really they got eliminated. unnecessary clutter.

my cat winston has returned. he went someplace else for most of the night, and he appears to be very happy to be here because he’s purring loudly, but he chose to sleep on the very edge of the bed, on the other side, with his back towards me. but he continues to purr, and if i reeeaaach over and pet him, he purrs even more.

i still have a bunch of things to do today. lots of massages, i’ll need lots of energy, it won’t be a good thing if i’m really sleepy because i’m not sleeping right now. i should have done something that would quiet my brain, instead of typing, because it seems that the more i type, the faster i go. i need a good book to read, for one thing. but if it was really good, i’d have gotten engrossed in it, and then i wouldn’t have slept, also. maybe i need a boring book. hmm, i’m sure i have some of those around here.

friday friday friday, it would be really nice if it was going to be a snow day.

ok then,

ever-hopeful december grace.

although the ever-hopefullness never gets me ANYWHERE.

that’s all i’m saying.

i’m kind of hungry right now, i suddenly realized. maybe i should have a snack.

man it’s cold.