Gee, where has the week gone? Thursday already, i need to get back into play-mode. i’d decided that i don’t know what i’ll do when it’s over, but i haven’t really thought about it much while i’ve been away. i haven’t even thought about my lines or anything, but luckily they mostly consist of things like, “gee, i hope he’s good-looking!” or “Is he good-looking?” or “and he was so good-looking!” I say a few more other forgettable things, too, but it’s really all about the stellar ballet dancing. i’m going to post another photo tonight, but only theoretically.

yesterday was huge for me, HUGE, because i did my taxes. i’ve been having much anxiety about the prospect of doing them, afraid that i’d owe hundreds of dollars more (because i have my own business, no taxes are ever taken out, so last year i had to estimate how much i owed and had to painfullly keep sending them big checks throughout the year).

it took longer than i thought it would – three hours – but i was quite pleased with the results. turns out i’m going to get a little bit of money back, which is a relief. but then i have to pay more money for my IL taxes, but still, things are good.

But then, today, i went to the tax place where i went last year where they looked at what i’d done and approved it. I went into the place, thinking it was the same place – it looked the same, it smelled the same, like lots and lots of stale cigarettes – but it wasn’t the same. that place went out of business. i mean, the sign outside was the same. very deceptive.

the guy who looked at my return kept telling me that they should do the return for me (BUT I JUST DID IT MYSELF!), it wouldn’t cost too much, and he could save me lots of money, PLUS he’d tell me a magic way to run my business differently so i can save hundreds of dollars this year.

He was like a used car salesman. some of what he said might have been true, but i just didn’t like him. also, he was greasy, and he had a large ugly brown mole on his face, and i couldn’t imagine having to spend one minute of time conferring about money-saving advice while looking at that mug.

not that i’m shallow. but the used-car salesman approach was the most annoying thing, and i got out of there quick and called my friend randy, who keeps telling me that he has a very nice tax guy, who has a cute butt.

cute butts are not really critical on my list of qualifications in a tax-prep person, but i know it means a lot to randy.

anyway, at least i did it, i finished them. whew. by the time i was done with my cypherin’ and figurin’, i was exhausted, my heart racing, my forehead pounding.

i can’t tell you how great it was to feel that about doing taxes, instead of personal crises.

i spent a few hours at panera today, where i was engaged in some “let’s help grace feel better now”-type activities. who knew that panera could be such a bastion of good and positive-ness? it was, let me just say that.

i have a pickup rehearsal tonight, which will probably be pretty darn quick, and i’ll be able to see if i remember my lines or not. and then only three more shows, and then what? then what?

many things, miss smith, many things.

I meditated again yesterday. now my goal is to try to do it more than one day in a row. i feel that any alleged cumulative effects will take more than just doing it once, randomly, every week or so.

today, meditation-like, i worked out for a good long time at the fit club. lots of weights – i may be pretty darn sore tomorrow.

yesterday, i was trudging up the stairmaster, and this guy got on the machine next to me. he started in, huffing and puffing, and then he was trying to be all fancy on the stairmaster. he kept walking sideways, and he even tried going up the steps BACKWARDS, which seemed so completely moronic to me, and i hoped he’d fall off.

The worst thing, though, was that every time he’d start in on the sidestepping, he kept BREATHING on me. Talk about invading my personal space!

QUIT BREATHING ON ME, i wanted to yell at him. but of course i didn’t, because while at the fit club i try to wear my invisibility cloak, and if i interact with anybody, then they’ll see me for sure.

As i staggered to the women’s locker room after 45 minutes of sweating a lot, a guy came out of the men’s locker room. kind of cute, i observed, breaking down on my strict “never look at anybody” policy which goes nicely with my invisibility cloak. But as he passed, i realized – HE WAS THE DEEP BREATHER!

hmm, just proves that maybe a man might clean up nice, but you really need to climb the stairmaster next to him to find out his true personality.

ok then,