where is the summer going? i feel like it’s slipping away much, much too quickly. last night my brother, david, said he was looking forward to fall. i shuddered. fall is ok, but it always leads to the same thing…WINTER. ugh.

still no computer. i was able to focus completely, then on re-reading harry p. #5. i’m up to page 480 now, over halfway done. i’m glad i’m reading it again, because it’s good, and i didn’t remember most of it. and i still have #6 to look forward to. because when #6 is gone, what will there be left in life to look forward to???

i think life is going to be different this fall. i haven’t mentioned it, but i’ve applied to the University of Illinois, Spfld, to their graduate english program. why does writing things on here make them seem more real? i sent in the application in june, and i kept waiting and waiting to hear from them, and finally started calling a few weeks ago, and have been astounded at the apparent lack of interest in actually doing anything at all with the application. they’ve said things to me like “we don’t have a transcript that says you received your B.A.” and “we didn’t receive your G.R.E. scores,” and “we need the transcript from the University of Arizona.”

granted, my application might have been a little more complicated than most – i went to three different colleges on the way to getting my B.A., but i sent in all the forms, everything, and got increasingly more annoyed by the things they said they hadn’t received.

it looks like they admit to having everything now, though, and all i need is for the evaluator to do the evaluating. well, and then the evaluator has to send the evaluation to the english department, and then i assume more and more evaluating will take place.

school starts on august 22nd, and i hope the evaluation process is about over by then.

i’d like to be a graduate assistant, because my friend erica is one, and she says it would be a really good idea, because you get paid a little AND they cover your tuition. but now i don’t know if it’s years and years too late to do that because they were interviewing people to be G.A.s sometime in the spring, and now god knows when the grad. assist. people will actually receive any of my forms from the other departments.

i forgot about what a maze of bureaucracy and red tape the college thing can be.

if all goes as planned and i do start school, i’m looking forward to it. the classes i want to take are at night, and if i somehow got to be a g.a., plus i’ll still be doing massages, i’m suddenly going to be very very busy. i’m not entirely sure how i feel about this. well, i feel a little anxious, because of course change is always anxiety-producing, although the anxiety hasn’t stopped me yet from making changes pretty much all the time. it always feels, though, that i don’t have quite enough time to do everything i want to do, and if i’m even busier…well, we’ll see how it goes.

i’ve decided the classes are going to kind of be like being in a play, when i had rehearsal at night for weeks and weeks.

except this time i won’t get to dance around doing bad ballet. i do miss “I can’t take it with you,” at least the bad ballet aspect of it.

the class i’m most excited about is playwriting. when i lived in LA, actually before i even move there, i wrote lots of screenplays, but i started thinking that plays would be better to try, because i’m all about the dialogue, not the action. plus, if i start writing plays, i could actually produce them.

new possibilities.

i’m also going to take a class about children’s literature, and that excites me, too, because i continue to love children’s books. ok, here’s something i haven’t confessed to you – sometimes i still read children’s books. some of them are really, really good, funny and creative, and they make me happy. i haven’t run into any other adults who ever read children’s books (except for harry potter, and for some reason it’s perfectly ok to admit to reading them), but i feel i can’t be completely alone on this.

but maybe so.

for example, “mrs. piggle wiggle.” i haven’t read any of these books in a few years, but the thought of them makes me smile, because they’re so clever and funny. i read “mr. popper’s penguins” a few years ago in LA, because i heard somebody was writing a screenplay for it. it, too, is a funny book.

maybe i’ll write plays, maybe i’ll write plays for children, maybe i’ll just read a lot more, it’s hard to say.

new things ahead, that’s all i know for sure.

were you in a better mood yesterday? i was, and i realized it was because it wasn’t so stifling hot. plus i was able to make oatmeal chocolate chip cookies last night without heating up the house too badly.

most importantly of all, did you hear that they’re allegedly going to extend daylight savings time? i don’t think it’d take effect for a year, and i’m pretty sure i can’t wait that long, but wouldn’t winter seem less bleak if it just stayed light a little longer? yes it would.

ok then, everything is good. everything is good.