i’ve been to a few holiday parties recently, and they’ve all featured shrimp. i find this to be a very good thing, because i love shrimp. my only question is, why does shrimp-offering only seem to occur during the xmas season? what about a big bowl of shrimp at a fall party, or even during the summer? shrimp should be more year-round. in my opinion.

what about groundhog’s day, for example? i’m going to have a groundhog’s day party next year (and next year is COMING RIGHT UP), i’ve just decided, and i’ll feature a HUGE bowl of shrimp. why don’t we ever have any groundhog’s day parties, anyway? there are plenty of xmas parties, but why aren’t parties spread out over the winter? by the time groundhog’s day rolls around, won’t we all be crazed from the lack of sunshine, cold and bitter coldness, and gobs of snow? i’m being optomistic about weather this winter, but i’m also very pragmatic and realize it’s probably going to get bad. (it was 12 degrees last night, but i’m trying to ignore that).

Groundhog’s (is there really an apostrophe? maybe it’s just “groundhog day.” but isn’t it the day of the groundhog, therefore groundhog’s day?) day should be a national holiday, as a matter of fact. i guess there are already some president-related february holidays, but groundhog(’s) day could be a day of celebration, of anticipation of spring. Instead of whatever kinds of parades and somber ceremonies they have for presidential-birthday holidays (and since they’re presidential birthday holidays, why do they not include cake?), the Groundhog Day Holiday would be all about celebrating, all day long. There’d be a Groundhog Day Eve Celebration, involving games, music, and merriment of all kinds. fun stuff for everybody. including, of course, big bowls of shrimp. everybody could dress in Hawaiian shirts and shorts, sunglasses and all manner of warm weather clothes, in defiance of the evil, cold winter.

i don’t know what people in warm weather states would do. perhaps it would be a special holiday, just for states where it gets really cold in the winter. don’t we deserve something special for making it through the winter? a paid day off work would be a good beginning, and the statewide parties would be something to look forward to, something to keep hope alive while slogging through the snow…

last night at the mall there were some big ugly dirty black piles of snow. this was troubling to me, because we haven’t had much snow yet, and the snow was at least a couple of weeks ago, and it’s been pretty warm since then, so those big dirty piles of snow shouldn’t have even been there. it’s vexing, and i’m sure there must be some sort of conspiracy involved in it all.

my groundhog’s day party, it’s going to be big. i’m sure it’ll catch on. even if they DON’T give us the day off, we could all take the day off anyway, sort of a passive, ghandi-like protest of being forced to go outside in the wintertime.

now i must spend a half hour putting on coats/mittens/scarves/boots/hats now in order to venture out. wish me luck.

ok then,