i can’t think of a more surly time than the middle of the night on sunday.

i woke up at 2. kept thinking that surely, SURELY, i’d fall back asleep, because i was lying here feeling very tired. i had a busy day. well, i went running for a long time, anyway.

by three, i was bored with not sleeping. so i thought i’d turn on the light and read.

3:35 a.m. wide awake now. what am i supposed to do? i’m not getting out of bed, that’s all i know. i could get up and take a shower and get dressed and go to the convention center and start standing in line for tickets to the Lincoln Museum grand opening. they start giving them away at 9:30 a.m., six short hours from now, and i bet i’d be the first person in line.

the thing that really sucks is that when i actually have to get up, at 7:30 or whenever in order to get in line early, i’ll be SO tired.

anticipatory tiredness. no WONDER i want to nap all the time.

i heard a motorcycle roar past a few minutes ago. it was actually more like chug-chug-chugging and i wondered if it would make it home. why weren’t they in bed already, anyway? i hope they get their bike fixed, and soon, because it didn’t sound good.

the fundraiser on saturday night was ghastly. dreadful. a complete waste of getting dressed up. boring. i stayed less than an hour.

the evening did get better, though; randy and i went to cheddar’s, which isn’t bad and had a great drink special. a little girl in the bathroom was dazzled by my outfit, which was slightly over the top for cheddar’s but at that point it didn’t matter at all. perhaps someday i’ll get to wear it somewhere that’s actually fun.

not that it wasn’t fun at cheddar’s. except as i sat there, i realized that my feet were hurting in my pointy high-heeled shoes, even though all i was doing was sitting down. wow, what if i’d attempting dancing in them?

afterwards, we went to randy’s and i made him loan me some sweats and a big soft warm shirt, and we played boggle. he beat me SO BAD – in one round he got 38 points. the final score was 102 to 45. not pretty. but at least it made randy happy. and i was glad because i was wearing soft comfy clothes and not at a fundraiser of any kind.

today when i went running, i saw some bears. because i ran by the zoo. this amused me; i wonder how many people can say that they saw bears while running? as opposed to running from bears, which wouldn’t have been as nice.

this afternoon (technically YESTERDAY afternoon), i went to see the the spfld ballet company’s “romeo and juliet” at Sangamon Auditorium. I had my doubts about spending two hours inside on such a beautiful day, but it was more than worth it. i’ve only seen a couple of ballets in my life, but this one was wonderful. it was moving, touching, the dancing was excellent. the guy who played romeo was only 18, which was surprising to me, because he was so poised and such an incredible dancer. juliet, also, was a joy to watch. they made everything look so completely effortless, ands the emotion they conveyed was really something.

there was quite a bit of sword fighting in the production. i happen to be acquainted with the fellow who did the fencing choreography, but i promise i’m not being biased when i say it was quite impressive, full of drama and action. the fighters looked like they’d been doing it for years, when i know for a fact that they just learned how. at one point, the fighting became so violent that somebody’s sword BROKE and clattered to the ground, and most people thought this had been rehearsed. but nope, they weren’t supposed to break the swords, but it added even more drama to the scene.

my only criticism of the ballet is the ending. romeo comes in and juliet looks dead and he’s horribly depressed because he thinks she’s dead so he kills himself by drinking poison and then she wakes up and is depressed because HE’S dead, so she stabs herself. in case you weren’t familiar with this plotline because you’ve been living in a cave all your life.

but instead, sometime i’d like to see a version of R & J where she drinks the knockout potion and falls asleep but romeo comes in and shakes her, and instead of getting all depressed and killing himself, he just keeps shaking her and she jumps up and gives him a big kiss and he carries her off and they run away to Mexico where those Montagues and Capulets won’t hassle them anymore and they live happily ever after.

or, if you insisted on more drama, he could be all depressed thinking she’s dead, and he can’t wake her, and so he picks up his own poison and is ABOUT TO DRINK IT, but then she JUMPS UP AND KNOCKS THE BOTTLE OUT OF HIS HAND.

alternately, he could drink the poison and she could wake up and give him some syrup of ipecac, the stuff that makes you throw up and then he’d be all better, but this wouldn’t be as poetic and lovely, romeo throwing up all over the stage. so let’s go with the other option.

just a thought. because when the ballet was over, i was moved and touched and loved seeing it, but at the same time i felt too sad about the tragedy of the lovers and all of that, and that got me thinking about the difficulty of just trying to live every day and find a little happiness, not to mention the utter impossibility of true love and happily ever after, so i started trudging home feeling fairly blue, in that remarkable way i have of making myself sad at the drop of a hat.

i was walking home because it wasn’t very far, but then somebody pulled up and gave me a ride, not a stranger, but a gentle and kind soul who swooped in and rescued me, and took me out for a margarita and chips-n-salsa, eerily similiar to my idea about going off to mexico, by the way, and so everything did turn out happily ever after, after all, for me, anyway.

at least for a good hour or so.

ok then,

grace at 4:08 a.m., SURELY i’m tired enough now to sleep a few more hours…