that sums up “marie antoinette.” mom and dad said they were going tonight, the last night it’s playing here in spfld, so kevin and i went, but then mom and dad had to go later.

when the movie was FINALLY over after about 15 days, i called dad and said WHATEVER YOU DO DON’T GO SEE THAT MOVIE.

but i feel that they’ll go anyway. GO SEE BORAT INSTEAD, i called back and told him. WE SAW THE PREVIEW FOR THAT AND IT LOOKS REALLY FUNNY.

they’ll go to marie antoinette. they’re there right now i bet. BORED OUT OF THEIR MINDS.

here’s the plotline – marie antoinette goes to france. she gets married. and then for the rest of the movie, NOTHING AT ALL HAPPENS.

there’s lots of walking around. lots and lots of walking, beautiful places, i mean it’s VERSAILLES (we have a versailles here in central illinois, but we pronounce it “versales.”). beautiful grounds, beautiful chandeliers and furniture and wallpaper. GOOD JOB WITH THE SET DECORATION AND THE COSTUMES. BUT YOU FORGOT TO HAVE A STORY AND SOME DIALOGUE.

sometimes kirsten dunst does talk. ISN’T SHE A GOOD ACTRESS? WHAT HAPPENED TO HER?

she and her co-star, louis xvith, i think it’s jason schwartzman, THEY SOUND LIKE THEY’RE IN A HIGH SCHOOL PLAY. eventually kirsten has a beautiful little girl who HAS A LOVELY FRENCH ACCENT.

kirsten sounds like she lives in VERSALES ILLINOIS.


molly shannon and this other actress whose name i can’t remember but she has a really really creepy voice, they’re some of the ladies in waiting or ladies hanging around or whatever, and at first i thought maybe they would provide some INTRIGUE or SOME KIND OF ACTIVITY TO MAKE THE MOVIE INTERESTING IN ANY WAY, but they didn’t.

kirsten has a short affair with some guy and he’s quite handsome but then he gallops away on his horse.

kirsten gets to wear many many many fabulous fancy gowns and shoes and sometimes ridiculously tall marie antoinette wigs. in a scene with her lover she wears nothing but a pair of lovely white stockings with blue ribbons at the top, and she holds a very large fan. but SHE IS UNBELIEVABLY TERRIBLE.

all through the film they eat lots and lots of very beautiful looking food and how come i didn’t see a single woman in the film who looked fat at all, wouldn’t they all be waddling around after doing nothing but eating rich pastries and drinking gallons of champagne every moment of every day?

at the end, and i won’t ruin it for you because I HOPE TO GOD YOU DON’T GO SEE IT, there’s not even any dramatic scene of her being a captive and being beheaded. she and her husband roll away in a carriage and she he asks her something like “are you looking at the view?” and she says “i’m saying good-bye” and then we see a shot of their bedroom (where i think they really only had sex once, perhaps a few times) which is ornate as anything but totally wrecked and the chandelier is on the ground.



because it was more boring than anything i can recall in a very very long time.

earlier in the week we went to “talledega nights,” and it was the BEST MOVIE IN THE WORLD compared to MA. T. nights was inconsequential and stupid sometimes, but at least things happened, i even laughed a couple of times, and kevin enjoyed it thoroughly because he’s a guy.

i can’t believe we wasted two perfectly good hours seeing marie antoinette.

i came home and vacuumed because i haven’t done so since the party even though i’ve been meaning to and there’s been confetti all over the carpet for over a week now and VACUUMING WAS MUCH MUCH MORE ENTERTAINING THAN WATCHING MARIE ANTOINETTE.

as we ran out of the theater when it was over, there were a few people sitting in the rows in front of us and they remained in their seats. surely they didn’t give one shit about who was involved in that crappy crap? perhaps they had all fallen asleep.

that is all for now. i feel much better.