the .com for “graceeverythingcontinuesbeaquicksandfilledpoolofbadnessandican’

because, yeah.

the last time kevin took mollie to the U of I in champaign for her chemo, i didn’t go because i was in Washington D.C.  that was three weeks ago.  at that time they had changed her plan to getting a strong dose of the kickass drug every three weeks, instead of a rotating regime every week.

but actually, they gave her a different…oh, i’m too tired to type it all.  bottom line:  the cancer is back.

the drug she had last time didn’t do anything.  so now she will take the one kickass drug, at a smaller dosage, every two weeks.

for a total of three more times.

and then she can’t take that kickass drug anymore because…well, it will kick her ass.  it will severely affect her heart, so she would die of that, instead of from cancer.

and so that means…that today was, yet again, a bad day.

maybe the kickassedness of this drug, three more times plus the time today, will beat that lymphoma into remission for a good long time.

but we don’t know how it’ll go.  so far, things haven’t gone very well.

meanwhile, we’re just going one day at a time.

when the nice vet tech, jenny, told us about the new protocol of drugs, i asked if that meant that mollie would have the three more doses, and then she’ll die?  and of course i started crying because there’s been a trifle bit too much of the death going on around here.

she talked about the possibility of other stuff they can try, etc etc, but really, nobody knows.  all we know now is it’s not good.

then, of course, i felt obliged to stop jenny in the hall before we were leaving to tell her that the reason i started crying is because my dad just died.  i didn’t want her to think that i’m just a big blubbering blubberer, blubbering all over the place.

except, of course, i am right now.

she assured me that crying was fine, just as a young woman walked out of another door, crying.


on a happier note – when we got the hell outta there, we took mollie over to a new nice park-like place right down the way from the clinic, and mollie furiously sniffed for bunnies under all the bushes and was really happy and energetic.

it’s nice that she doesn’t know.

now i’m going to order 1,000 pig ears online from the one company that sells them.  we bought mollie a bag of them a few weeks ago but we can’t remember where, and we can’t find them, except online.  she doesn’t like any other kinds, although you wouldn’t think there would be a big difference in pig ear flavor, really.  greasy, that’s what i think they must taste like, because that’s how they feel.

i now have at least 1,000 pictures to post up here but of COURSE my computer has contracted a horrible and malicious virus and it is being wiped clean and who knows if the infected bits will ever be found in whatever files they may be lurking in.

many, many photos, including the exciting cutting down of the tree, plus aunt sandy’s BIG 60TH BIRTHDAY BLOWOUT BASH, which was attended by many of her very nice friends who we were happy to meet.

plus, of course, many, many darling photos of darling lester, who is lying on me purring one minute, and the next minute he’s running through the house carrying a baby bluejay he just managed to kill in the fenced-in yard.

all right already,

mrs. wednesday hughes.