it’s ALMOST FIVE A.M.!!!

very very annoyed.

i wasn’t gonna get up and open the computer because i knew i would be BLINDED BY THE LIGHT.

but then, after lying in bed from 3:16 till 4:23, i finally gave up because it is VERY VERY BORING TO JUST LIE THERE IN BED.

the thing is, i’m not worried or wound up about anything right now, so there is NO REASON TO BE WIDE AWAKE.

winnie is lying here next to me and i wish you could see him.  for some reason he’s just looking at me, not sleeping, and his eyes are glowing in the dark.  he got up when i did and i gave him a little wet food because OF COURSE HE WAS STARVING TO DEATH, and then as i was sitting here i heard him throwing up in the next room.

by the time i go back to bed, i’ll probably tromp right through the puke.  and then i’ll have to delay getting back to sleep even more because of the washing off of the puke from the bottom of my foot.

maybe i’ll take a different route back to bed, but that would involve going through the bathroom, and i’ll trigger the motion-sensing basement light when passing through the hall and then i’ll be BLINDED BY THAT LIGHT.

maybe i should just stay up.  i did get, oh…almost five hours of sleep.  some people only sleep that much on a regular basis.


when i was in college, i went on a european tour – 12 countries in 21 days.  i went on a tour because at the time i didn’t know anybody who wanted to go to europe, and it was fun, except we had to get on the bus almost every morning (maybe every single morning?) really really early, and every night we stayed out very late.  i drank lots of beer back then which seems quite insane now because i have always hated beer.

but anyway, because we got up so early and then stayed up so late, night after night after night, i usually only got about four or five hours of sleep.  i had to be awake during the day BECAUSE I WAS IN EUROPE and there were FABULOUS THINGS TO SEE EVERYWHERE.  so i coped, but i felt like my personality changed for the duration.  i wasn’t surly or anything from lack of sleep, i was just…slower, maybe.  that’s not it, exactly – i just felt like i was living in sort of another dimension or something.  it’s hard to describe, ESPECIALLY BECAUSE RIGHT NOW I SHOULD BE ASLEEP AND IT’S ALL I CAN DO TO TYPE THESE WORDS.

the only thing that is slightly troubling to me is that it’s been such a long time since i’ve written here…i felt like i was really making a concerted effort to WRITE A LOT, but then pfft, over a week went by, just like that.

but it’s not something that KEEPS ME AWAKE.  like i said, no idea why i woke up and then couldn’t fall back asleep.

IT’S NOW FIVE A.M.  damn, i’m a fast typist.  many words in just a few minutes.  i really think that typing is the only constructive thing i took in high school.  maybe it’s really the only meaningful thing i learned after grade school, come to think of it.  i can’t recall learning anything particularly helpful in high school, or in college either, for that matter.

but let’s not go there right now.  i do my best to not think about great swaths of my earlier life, and if i start down that path, I WON’T GET TO SLEEP AGAIN AT ALL.

i wonder if jim is up yet.  it’s probably too early for even him.

i could walk down to the dock and see the sun come up, but i have a vague impression that it doesn’t come up for at least an hour.  SURELY I’LL BE ASLEEP BY THEN.

i wish i’d written more lately, but i don’t feel guilty about it because every day i keep feeling like i get up and sit down and drink my lapsang souchong tea and have a few minutes of peace and quiet but then I GET UP AND RUN AROUND LIKE CRAZY and don’t sit down til it’s night.

except for saturday morning, when i woke up and sat on the couch for quite a while and then took a nap right there.  that was nice.

there is definitely no light in the sky at all right now.  fyi.

we’re having a HUGE GARAGE SALE on saturday, at bev’s house.  surely i wrote about our exciting garage sale that we had a few weeks ago?  maybe a month ago.  i can’t remember.  anyway, we had that one because a neighbor was having one and since we figured lots of cars would be coming into our lane, we’d have one, too.  it was fairly successful, as garage sales go, so i had the brilliant idea of having another one, but at bev’s house, because she really really needs to get her car in her garage this winter, and the only way she’s going to accomplish that is by getting rid of MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF STUFF.

she’s going to be mad at me about those all caps.  but i’m sorry, i can’t tell a lie, she has MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF STUFF.

for a few more days, anyway.

so we’re having a garage sale with bev, plus david, and randy, and maybe bev’s neighbor.  randy is going to drag his motley collection of VHS tapes because he has this idea that people still watch VHS tapes.  nobody even looked at the tapes at our other sale; they didn’t even get NEAR the tapes, but when i suggested that i take them to the goodwill for him, he was not happy about that, and took them all home again.

maybe i’m wrong; maybe people in sherwood are dying for VHS tapes.

yes, bev lives in sherwood.  not the forest, except all the streets have sherwood forest-type names.  i can’t think of any of them right now.  robin hood?  is there a robin hood street?  or a maid marion?  no, and no.  i can’t think of any other names like that right now.  i’m sure bev will tell me, after she YELL AT ME FOR SAYING SHE HAS LOTS OF STUFF.

but hopefully, this winter when there’s a foot of snow on the ground and she doesn’t even have to go outside and shovel out her car, when she can just open her side kitchen door and walk out into her garage and get into her toasty car, she will be over her anger by then.

maybe she’ll make me some award-winning cookies.

we’ll have to drink them with hot chocolate by then.


i should just stay up and go outside because it WILL be winter, before you know it.

today i would like to edit together that little video i took of kevin attempting to master the wave board.

yes, i will get that done.

maybe i should start right now.


do you ever think about words, about the crazy way they’re spelled, why there are so many variations of there, for example.  there, they’re, their. all the crazy lettering of everything.  it’s all probably because it’s based on latin, right?  but how did THEY think of things?  do you ever think about the first people, how they had to think up names for everything?  i mean, weren’t people way back then probably a lot dumber than us, as a species?  but then you think of all the names they had to think up for things, plus even figuring out how to put sentences together, and who came up with all that crazy shit, all the diagramming of sentences, who thought up present past participle gerund and all those other crazy things?

diagramming sentences, that’s something i enjoyed in middle school.  hmm, what a totally worthless thing, that diagramming of sentences.  i mean, seriously.  at least that was the one bright spot in an otherwise wretchedly horrid horrible middle school life.

diagramming sentences.

i’m pretty sure that if i was sent back to middle school and had to take a diagramming sentences test, I WOULD FAIL.  i can’t even think of how you’d start.

do you think, if i just sat here and kept writing, i’d write till the sun came up?

yes, i could do that, but maybe my fingers will get tired.

ok, just one more random thing before i DEFINITELY GO BACK TO SLEEP…

we watched the movie “2012” the other night, and it was kinda good, in an exciting special effects kinda way.  but they of course way overdid the schmaltzy little story lines about the various characters and that made it kind of annoying.  john cusack had an estranged wife and two little kids, and the girl was seven and she had to wear pull-up underpants at night; his ex-wife told john that when he took the kids camping, and it seemed that if he had been a better father and known that she needed the pull-ups, the marriage wouldn’t have fallen apart and his wife wouldn’t have been shacking up with a nice-enough plastic surgeon.

but anyway, end of the world, many many explosions and john cusack driving really really well even though LA was literally crumbling and splitting under his feet and all around him, and there was worldwide pandemonium as the earth’s core heated up causing all the earthquakes and eventually huge tsunamis.

there was lots of other stuff, too, and a couple other cloying story lines, but then at the end, john got back together with his wife and her boyfriend died valiantly doing…something or other…and john and wife and kids were standing there on the bow of the huge huge ship that was going to carry them to a new and better all-new life on an all-new continent, and john asked his daughter something like  “are you OK now?” or something equally retarded, and then the little girl whispered to him with a grin, NO MORE PULLUPS.


how much money did the guy get for writing that script?  a million dollars?

no more pullups.

good lord.

5:27 a.m. now.