mom and i were on our way to the hoogland for a lecture by richard haglund, who is doing a four-part series about the history of music. i decided to take west lake drive to stevenson drive, and i was zipping along over the 1-55 bridge and we were chatting and then OH MY GOD THERE’S A COP. he was off on a side street, and his laser was POINTED AT ME, and as we flew past, i said “I know i’m gonna get a ticket,” and then, one second later, he pulled out and turned on those flashing lights.
NOT ANOTHER TICKET. i got my first speeding ticket in a very very long time just last summer, and i did supervision so it won’t be on my record forever, but i DID NOT WANT ANOTHER ONE.
he was very nice, officer mitchell. he told me i was going 45 in a 30 and i apologized and said i thought the speed limit was 40. of course, i didn’t really know what the speed limit was, but i did know that when i glanced down at the speedometer after i passed him, i was going almost 50, and i knew that was too fast, because i usually drive too fast.
he very nicely explained to me that because this is a residential section, the speed limit is 30. back there where i came from, it was 40, but because people live here, it’s 30. i nodded.
damn. he took my license and my insurance card and went back to his car. while he was gone mom and i tried to figure out if my previous stop would show up, and she was quite sure that he wouldn’t have a record of it. “it’s gone after three months when you get supervision,” she kept saying. i asked her if she thought i should ask him about that, and she thought i should.
after a while i saw him coming, but he didn’t seem to have a ticket in hand. OH MY GOD HE’S GOING TO ARREST ME.
not that i’ve done anything that i can think of that i should be arrested for, but you never know. he came up to the window and handed me my stuff. “here, mario andretti,” he said, “i’m going to let you go with a warning.”
OH MY GOD I CAN’T BELIEVE IT. i thanked him profusely and waved as he LET ME GO.
FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST!!! I LOVE YOU, OFFICER MITCHELL! I’D MARRY YOU IF I WASN’T ALREADY MARRIED!
why did he let me go? surely he didn’t actually believe that i thought the speed limit was 40?
when i got home, kevin said of COURSE officer mitchell knew that i had that other ticket. BUT YOU SAID THAT WHENEVER SOMEBODY ALREADY HAD A TICKET ON THEIR RECORD, YOU ALWAYS WROTE THEM A TICKET!
so does that mean that officer mitchell is a NICER cop than kevin was? because, i truthfully don’t know anybody nicer than kevin.
of course, kevin never stopped me for speeding. sure, he’s a sweetheart MAN, but clearly he wasn’t so sweet when he was a COP. for example, i knew not to start crying when i got stopped because kevin said that if somebody cried HE ALWAYS WROTE THEM A TICKET.
but maybe since we’ve already seen that officer mitchell has a softer cop heart, he might have taken pity on me if i’d cried?
it doesn’t matter now because I HAVE NO TICKET!
i drove slowly all the way to the hoogland AND BACK.
“yeah, but what about tomorrow?” asked kevin.
hmm, maybe no more driving for me. it’s really the only way to be sure i won’t get a ticket, because even though after that other ticket i did drive slower, that didn’t last very long, plus i just drive fast. i just do. really, it’s kind of a miracle that i haven’t gotten any more tickets, because i almost always drive too fast and i’ve been driving for a very very long time. i can’t even remember the last ticket i got before last summer; i think it must have been way back in college or something, unless i’m forgetting a time, which i very well could be considering i forget most things. but you’d think i’d remember a ticket because of course is sucks to get one. so i’ve been SKIRTING THE LAW for such a long time, and maybe now my luck is running out.
anyway, we got to the lecture and it was REALLY GOOD, and very interesting, and if you can, you should make it to the other ones. there are four of them in all, except you’ve missed the first one, from prehistoric music to the baroque, but i think we only got up to the renaissance today. there are three more, every tuesday from 1:30 to 3:30, a measly 10 bucks apiece. like i said, very interesting, plus he had a slideshow and video clips. he said something about next week having free tickets to a symphony performance! richard haglund, he’s the Illinois Symphony Orchestra?s Assistant Conductor, founder and Music Director of the Erato Chamber Orchestra in Chicago, he is also Music Director of the Sangamon Valley Youth Symphony and Community Orchestra in Springfield. a very busy and knowledgeable man, plus a good speaker.
plus you should go to the lecture if you can because then there will be somebody younger than 60 there besides me. actually, i did see one guy who looks like he probably goes to lincoln land, and there was a woman there with her three kids. but everybody else, gray hair. nothing wrong with that, i’m not opposed to old people, plus when we had a break it was easy to sprint ahead of everybody else to get to the bathroom first.
at the break he said he had no coffee and cookies…it made me want to bring some cookies next time. when and if i do another gracetalk, i’m going to serve cookies as people come in. cookies are always good, no matter what. as a matter of fact, i should carry some around in my car in case i get pulled over again…
i wonder if kevin would have given me a ticket if he had pulled me over when he didn’t known me, and i’d offered him a chocolate chip cookie?
ok then,
mrs. tuesday hughes.