dinner, part one:

ok, for the moment let’s just ignore the fact that it only got up to 14 today and right now it’s seven with a wind chill of minus four, and it looks like it’s going to be like that forever, except for sunday when we’re going to have a heatwave of 29.  maybe.

my question for the day is, was ANYBODY ACTUALLY ON THE GUEST LIST at the state dinner at the white house for the Indian prime minister?  the dinner where michell ewore that fabulous sparkly dress, but it was overshadowed by those stupid media-hungry pseudo-rich people who slunk in?

it turns out that there was yet another guy who wasn’t invited also snuck into the dinner.  the only reason they found about this new guy (anonymous, at least for the next few seconds), is because they were reviewing the tape of the salahis (the first interlopers).  so if they hadn’t snuck in, wouldn’t that guy never have been found out?  and doesn’t that mean that WHO KNOWS WHO’S GETTING INTO THESE PARTIES.

i have some very fancy dresses, maybe kevin and i should just go for it.  we could fly out to washington and be next in line.

but no, maybe now the free ride for crashing white house parties is over.

and speaking of crashing things, what about the latest attempted bomber?  the other guy had the explosive in his show, and now we have to take off our shoes when boarding planes.  this guy’s explosive was in his underwear…will we have to take off our underwear, or will we just not be allowed to wear it at all?

somebody suggested that people will have to all travel naked.  i keep thinking about this and it cracks me up, every time.  well, it would crack me up if i actually laughed out loud, which i rarely do, but inside, i’m laughing loud.

i mean, just think of the line of people going through security…everybody naked.

so, so funny.

so funny.

dinner, part two:

on a more serious note, though…i have a raccoon problem.  a raccoon dinner problem.

i’ve been trying to implement my own raccoon hot meal program, and so far it’s a resounding failure.

mollie has always alerted us that a raccoon is up on the table under our living room window, eating bird food.  this makes mollie WILD, as you might imagine.  but the cute little raccoon just sits there calmly eating.  i think he likes to eat the food closest to the window so he can peer in and have entertainment while eating his dinner.  dinner and a show.

because it has been so beastly cold, i thought it would be nice to give the poor hungry raccoon something hot for his dinner.  i had put one of the big pieces of vegetable pot pie out for the birds, but it turned into a big frozen pot pie block.  this is one of two pies that i made for christmas eve; the vegetable pot pie was ridiculously time-consuming and involved peeling acorn squash, and almost impossible feat, plus chopping lots of very hard root vegetables.  it smelled good, but it was VERY BAD.  VERY BAD.  luckily there was the chicken pot pie, plus lots and lots of christmas cookies and fruitcake, so nobody starved on xmas eve.  plus amy made a big jello mold with cream cheese in the middle, which the birds did DEVOUR, by the way.  i think i mentioned that before.

anyway, the first night i saw the raccoon out there trying to eat the frozen block of vegetable pot pie, but it wasn’t working out for him at all because it was too frozen.  he was even trying to sit on it to warm it up, and i suspect he’d also been trying to smash it on the table to get it apart, but to no avail.

so i decided he needed some HOT pot pie.  i went outside and retrieved the frozen one, and at that point the little guy scurried off, but i figured he’d be back.  i cut another piece of pie and put it in the microwave and took it outside…and went back in and waited.  and waited.  i kept waiting, and the pot pie was getting colder and colder, but mr. raccoon didn’t make an appearance.

the next night i tried putting the (heated) pot pie outside right when it got dark, so he’d see it and wouldn’t be scared off by me.

the next morning, though, another frozen, untouched  pot pie.

so now i don’t know what to do.  this evening i tried it again, and i opened the window and set it out so the raccoon wouldn’t be scared if he happened to be looking up at the deck.

but now i’m worried that my raccoon is never going to get a hot meal.  it’s just so BITTERLY cold here, and the vegetable pot pie would warm him up, even if it isn’t the best pot pie in the world.

i guess i could just set it out in the morning and the birds would gobble it up.

maybe the problem is the pot pie itself.  maybe the raccoon did smell it, but he just wasn’t interested.  understandable.  maybe i need to put some other hot meal out there, something more tantalizing to a raccoon.

now i’m going to have to spend the evening looking up recipes to fix for cold raccoons.

it’s always something.

ok then,

very busy grace in the dead of winter.