we went to sterling last wednesday for kevin’s mom’s funeral and didn’t get back til saturday night.  since then i’ve been amazingly drained and tired and not thinking so clearly.

yesterday, after taking mollie for a run, lifting some weights, and giving a massage, i went to wal-mart for a few things.  while i was looking at the millions of choices of different kinds of oil of olay, kevin called.  please get me some bar chain oil, he said.  ok, said i, not paying super-close attention because i was trying to decide what kind of lotion was best.

but then i said, what?  BAR chain oil?  BAR, like bar of soap.

yep.  it was for the chainsaw; a huge limb fell off a tree yesterday and kevin was going to cut it up.  he said it would be with marine oil, or at least that’s what i thought he said.

after selecting two different kinds of oil of olay, one generic and one absurdly expensive but it will probably last about three years, i headed over to that section where i never go, all tires and electrical things and stuff like that.

up and down the aisles i shuffled, not knowing what kind of bottle i might be looking for, getting more and more upset, realizing that i shouldn’t have done so much earlier in the day, i was really worn out and not thinking very clearly.  finally i spotted an old guy shopping in the boating aisle, and i asked him if he’d heard of BAR CHAIN OIL, and he had, but he wasn’t sure where they’d have it.

so then he asked an employee, which of course i should have done to begin with, but trying to track down an employee felt like too much for me.

the woman knew exactly where it was and marched me to it.  there was a big bottle and a little bottle and i didn’t know which one to get and tried to call kevin but he didn’t answer, probably because he was chain-sawing, and so i decided on the big bottle.

BAR CHAIN OIL, it’s near the car oil but in some category called “oil accessories” or something like that, at least at wal-mart.

i wanted to get a few groceries, but first i needed some flexible tubing to put over the electric cords which the kitties have been chewing.  kevin had bought a little of the tubing and it seemed to work, but we needed lots more.  hmm, didn’t he say the tubing was in the marine section, and if so, why?

luckily the section was nearby and i wandered up and down looking for it and then finally asked an employee who didn’t know if they’d have it anywhere, so i continued to wander, into all that plumbing stuff and all kinds of things that i always avoided.

i finally gave up and decided that i couldn’t deal with it, and then stopped by the magazines on my way to the grocery section way on the other side of the story.  i picked up an oprah magazine even though i never read that magazine because i always get pissed off by the huge number of ads.  but i felt like it, so i got one, put it in my cart, and…IT WAS NOT MY CART.

my cart had been heaped with black disposable shopping bags, plus my big BAR CHAIN OIL, not to be confused for my oil of olay, but i bet they have similarities.

WHAT HAD I DONE WITH MY CART???  WHERE COULD IT BE?

i’d wandered around a lot, and figured it could be anywhere, so i left the unknown cart at the magazines and headed back.  i noticed a guy kind of looking down each aisle and wondered if i’d taken his cart.  but i focused on finding my own cart, and it was right there in the marine section, and now the guy was lurking close by, so i asked him if he’d lost his cart.  he said yes, and then i was very apologetic, saying i’d taken it by mistake, i was SO sorry, and i’d lead him to it.  “is it far?” he asked.  not so bad, said i.

it was kind of far, but only halfway to the grocery section, and as we walked i continued to apologize and he looked very annoyed with me and said “i’d have thought you’d have brought my cart back instead of leaving it there.”

OH BROTHER.  YOU GO TO HELL, MISTER, I AM VERY FRAZZLED AND YOU ARE LUCKY I DIDN’T JUST LEAVE YOU TO LOOK FOR YOUR OWN DAMN CART, is what i would have liked to have said, but instead i just pointed down the aisle where his cart was patiently waiting for him.

whew.

the rest of my shopping experience was blessedly uneventful.

ok then,

mrs. thursday hughes.