the fair!

by grace on August 23, 2010

first, i must show you bev’s AWARD-WINNING FAIR ENTRIES.

second place whole wheat bread.  the funny thing is, i think the night before she was going to bake the bread, she asked me if i had a good whole wheat bread recipe.  THE NIGHT BEFORE SHE WAS GOING TO BAKE.  she didn’t use my recipe, because it’s whole wheat herb cheese bread, much too complicated; hers needed to be plain whole wheat bread.  i don’t know where she found the recipe, and i continue to be amazed at the blase attitude she has about finding a recipe for her entries.  i plan everything so far in advance, and would never wait till the night before baking to look for a recipe.

clearly, her style works for her.

this is what the little winning cards look like.

here’s another red ribbon, for her pie crust.   i’ve never had one of bev’s pies.  i really don’t think she makes pies very much, if at all.  ditto for the whole wheat bread, come to think of it, unless she’s secretly baking this stuff.

this is the GRAND PRIZE SPAM-TASTIC TURKEY TETRAZZINI!!! mmm.  it didn’t look so appealing a couple of days after they put it on display.  i wonder what she’s going to do with her spam t-shirts and her many spam-related prizes.

the morning i was writing about her win, she called me.  she was concerned that i’d write BAD NEGATIVE THINGS about spam, and how much bev actually eats spam, and stuff like that – she’s afraid that the many many spam officials nationwide are all diligent readers of this blog, and when her SPAM-TASTIC TURKEY SPAM TETRAZZINI is entered in the super duper grand prize national competition, my disparaging remarks would heavily influence the judges’ opinions, and her hopes for a huge bag of cash, a jet, a trip to sunny spain, and the other many many other SPAM-TASTIC prizes would be dashed.

i would never write anything bad about bev.  maybe, in time, she will realize that.

i do my best to not write disparaging things about most people, except of course those who more than deserve it, namely, blago.

here are more and more of her award-winners.  her third place honey nut bars:

her second place cookies; i can’t remember what kind they are, except i know they’re cookies that have to be made with cake mix.  they’re some kind of chocolate.

her BLUE RIBBON cranberry nut bars.  mmmm.

when she came over for dinner the other night she said she’d bring some of her “reject” cookies.  i thought that maybe these would be the cookie recipes she made that didn’t win any awards – maybe turkey spam cookies, or perhaps spam fudge.

so i was delighted to find that these were just the slightly less-than-perfect cookies that were part of the award-winning batches.  she obviously didn’t need to enter the whole darn batch of cookies in each competition, so there were plenty left over.  she arranged the “rejects” on a birthday plate (it was erica’s birthday dinner), and they they all seemed quite perfect to me.  everybody loved them.

i think she branched out into different kinds of non-food collections a few years ago.  she won second prize for her music boxes.  i thought this was good since she only had two of them, an the other award-winners had at least three different boxes.

she won a prize for her bells, but we forgot to take a photo of them.  sorry, bev.  next time.

but here are her AWARD-WINNING TEACUPS.  they’re quite lovely, as you can see, but she didn’t understand, neither did kevin or me, why she won first place.  there were many other very nice collections of tea cups.  she said this is the third year she’s entered and she’s never won anything before.  i asked her if she entered the same ones every year and she looked aghast and said NO OF COURSE NOT.

she was definitely robbed in the holiday craft package-wrapping category.  yes, she got a third-place ribbon, but she should have won first place.  the wrapping is a piece of fabric, and as you can see, there’s a tape-measure ribbon and a pin cushion bow.  very clever and pretty.

i should have taken pictures of the BORING first and second place winners.  both were covered with regular old wrapping paper.  the 1st place on had a big fluffy bow with a couple of white twig-like things sticking out of it; they’re those things that you see on top of over-the-top christmas trees.  but YAWN, shiny blue paper, not creative at all.  the second place package was just as boring, with some dumb ornament attached to the bow.

yes, she was robbed, but i guess we won’t picket or write angry letters to the editor or stage a sit-in protest this year.  bev did quite well for herself despite the lousy picking of the award-winning gift box wrapping.

after all she is the SPAM-TASTIC SPAM QUEEN.

hmm, that’d be a great halloween costume…

bev promised that she’s going to make us some SPAM-TASTIC TURKEY TETRAZZINI very soon.  dad is waiting in breathless anticipation for that.

and hmm again, is she starting to make plans for her trip somewhere for the NATIONAL SPAM COOKOFF?  because really, i can’t think of anything much more exciting.

ok then,

grace all about the fair.

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