GRACE UNCENSORED

she doesn’t mean to be bad…

when mollie wakes up in the morning, she doesn’t look in the mirror and think, “what kind of mayhem can i cause today?”

for one thing, i’ve never even seen her look in the mirror.

she’s just a dog, doing doggie things.  she just is.  a dog lives in the moment; they don’t plot and plan and want to cause mayhem and mischief.

however…

yesterday morning mollie moseyed down to the lake with me as i was staggering around the yard in my jammies, pulling the many many tiny weeds that have sprouted in my mulch-covered garden.  i had only meant to go down there and look at it, but one weed led to another, and there i was, pulling at the damn wild honeysuckle that want to take over the planet, tearing at the creeping charlie, when kevin sauntered down.

“Do you know where mollie i?” i asked, cause i realized that she was no longer nearby.  “nope.”  kevin whistled, and pretty soon mollie came trotting down the hill.  no, she wasn’t trotting, it was more like a gallop, her ears fluttering in the breeze, and she looked extremely excited and happy.

and she stunk.  PEEUUUWWW.  clearly she’d found a rotten fish and had spent some time thoroughly rolling in it.

WHY DID YOU DO THAT, MOLLIE?  I DON’T HAVE TIME TODAY TO GIVE YOU A BATH!

but she didn’t do it to be bad, she just did it because she is a dog, and dogs love nothing more than rolling in stinky things.

i gave her a bath and then i gave her not one but two treats afterwards, even though i don’t know why i felt she needed two big treats as a reward for rolling in fish.

she was good and clean and sweet-smelling for the rest of the day.  she sprawled on the floor while we were busy painting the duplex.

and then last night…

i made some broccoli cheddar soup from a packet i’d bought when we went to The Farm a few weeks ago.  because the temperature is going to be climbing, i figured i’d better make the soup while i had even the remotest desire for hot soup.  i had a small bowl and let molle clean it up.  we both found it delicious.

i thought that kevin might like some soup, so i left the pot on the stove.  after a while, though, he hadn’t touched it so i ladled it into a leftover container, about three cups’ worth.  i set the pot on the floor so mollie could clean it and she was having such a great time with it that she didn’t seem to notice that i’d gone out on the deck to talk to bev on the phone.  usually, if i go outside, she REALLY WANTS TO GO OUT, TOO.

bev and i talked for a while, but suddenly i thought, did i let mollie out?  is she off rolling in more fish?  will i have to end the night giving her another bath?  oh dear.

i rushed back inside, and kevin was in the kitchen, mollie sitting  in the dining room.

the soup pot was perfectly licked clean.  and there next to it was the leftover container on the floor – all that was left of the soup was a big blob on the kitchen rug.  plus there were little splatters on the floor, on the cabinets, and mollie had it on her chest, on her neck, and all over her paws.

WHY DID YOU DO THAT, MOLLIE?

when we’re gone we are careful to lock the cabinets and push things away from the side of the counter so she won’t eat the oatmeal or whatever she can grab, but she’s never done something as bold and dramatic as pushing the soup off the counter when i was right outside.

clearly, she really liked the soup.

and now i won’t have to worry about what to do with it since it’s going to be too warm for soup.  i won’t put it in the freezer for a year or two and then finally throw it away.

and today, mollie…well, she’ll just be a dog.  a very good dog.  she just needs to be watched.  hopefully today won’t involve any more bathing of her.

ok then,

mrs. wednesday morning hughes.