GRACE UNCENSORED

never mind…gus was right.

ok so just forget everything i wrote about “parade” the musical.  it was really, really good.  all the people were great, as i’d figured they would be, and paul presney puts on a show like nobody’s business and the music was really good…and i guess because people kept talking about what a HUGE DOWNER it was, it didn’t seem so darn down and bleak and depressing, even if you think about the subject matter it’s very very bleak and depressing.  even the final bit when they hang him (leo, the protagonist played by mr. josh ratz) – it’s not like he’s swinging up there for a long time or anything, and then there was the comfort of seeing him climb right down in the shadows after the scene was over.

it’s funny, but the one little bit i saw at the orchestra rehearsal was this song that matt vala was singing, and i was impressed by it then…it was definitely my favorite song of the play.  it’s called “big news” and it’s a loud, big, brassy song and i loved it so much that when i got home last night and got out of my nice clothes plus jewelry and all of that and put on my comfy jammies, i changed the words and kept singing JAMMIES to the tune of the song.

the only problem is that i can’t really remember much of the rest of the song or the lyrics, but still, i like singing JAMMIES, which i don’t know if i’ll take off today because it is, once again, gray and cold and very windy and if i suddenly become a much better person i’ll take mollie running later but i can’t bear the thought of that right now.

during the intermission i thought about what a good job joshua did, per usual, and thought about the other stuff i’ve seen him do – “jekyl and hyde,” “assasins,” “miss saigon” – and i realized that he seems to be very attracted to totally tortured characters.  it seemed troubling last night, and i worried that maybe he’s actually a very troubled soul, but it’s probably just that these are the juicy, scene-chewing kinds of parts that people would like to have a lot.

well, some people, anyway.  i’ve always thought, for example, that i’d like to be mean or awful in something but somehow i can’t convince anybody to see me like that.  probably not tortured, for that matter.

also, josh was frank-n-furter in Rocky Horror, and that guy really isn’t so tortured, he’s more about sashaying around the in the great big tall heels and the boa.

i told matt vala that he was FABULOUS, and he seemed happy about that, but then i asked him WHY AREN’T YOU ON BROADWAY??? and he replied, but i decided that i really shouldn’t ask anybody that anymore.  i should instead say YOU’D BE GREAT ON BROADWAY.  because there are many reasons people don’t go and try to make it on broadway, and probably people with great big talent like that have certainly thought about it quite a bit, but there always so many mitigating circumstances that it’s probably better not to ask them why they’re not in NYC right now, but instead to appreciate the fact that they’re right here and i don’t have to go all the way to broadway and pay huge amounts of money to see them.

after i got into summer stock out east many years ago and somehow managed to get a lead in a musical, and then a guy who came to direct one show was excited about becoming my agent, i decided to go to NYC.  i went to some auditions and quickly became discouraged at the overwhelming amount of other people doing the same thing, plus the rejection – sometimes they’d just line us up and point to a few people who they then let audition – plus i really didn’t  a clue about my strengths, plus the agent didn’t have a clue either and sent me out on commercial auditions with teenagers who were at least 10 years younger than me (but at the same time vastly more sure of themselves), plus i had a roommate who i thought was my friend, but she had been a contestant in the miss america contest and was very competitive and driven and self-absorbed, which i think you really have to be to succeed in show business, and once i got to new york she decided she really had no use for a friend like me, and i took that hard, as i had a tendency to do.

i ended up being completely lonely and  miserable and depressed and feeling like a big fat washed-up loser at the age of 23.

clearly, new york wasn’t for me.  i did enjoy taking long walks all around the city, though, and i do think it’s a fascinating and interesting place with many very delicious restaurants, but it’s really too crowded and all the people get on my nerves very quickly but at least i can still find my way around on the subways.

oh, and the other parade yesterday – last night we were going to go have dinner before the show, and stupidly decided we’d go downtown to gallina’s for some delicious pizza and sinfully good garlic knots which are almost perfect food except afterward you really don’t want to breathe on anybody for at least a week – but even though people had started drinking before noon to celebrate st. patrick’s day and the parade, there were still hordes of by now AMAZINGLY DRUNK people milling around everywhere.  we drove past gallina’s and there were two cops cars and an ambulance out front, not such a great indication of a smooth dining experience.

kevin pointed out that at least the fight would be over.  we finally found a place to park and walked back to gallina’s, past so many really drunk people, some of whom were just standing there yelling, and a guy came up and started shuffling along next to us, but clearly he was having a detailed conversation with himself about pretty much nothing.

the crowd outside the bar next to gallina’s was huge, and we opened the door to the restaurant and of course the line stretched out to the door so we quickly got away from there.  as we walked down the street i noticed many large cabbage leaves strewn about everywhere.  i assume this means people were walking in the parade with cabbages, or maybe a truck carrying a shipment of cabbages for corned beef and cabbage meals was tipped over by the drunks, who then ripped apart the cabbage leaves in a fit of irish revelry and merriment.

we tried cafe brio but there was a 25 minute wait just to get seated, so instead we went to the hoogland and sat in the lobby and i had a three musketeers and a glass of merlot for dinner.  more and more people drifted in and nobody was drunk ranting and raving and it seemed very nice and civilized.  i saw johnny molson, who i’d seen in the parade, and he said WHY AREN’T YOU WEARING THE NECKLACE I GAVE YOU? because i’d called out to him during the parade and some pavolvian thing in him made him throw me a necklace in response.  it was a very nice st. patrick’s day necklace and if i’d been really drunk last night i’m sure i would have worn it.

after the show was over we were outside and gus was out there trying to remember where he’d parked his car and i yelled IT WAS GREAT, GUS!  and he seemed pleased but really more interested in finding his car.

this morning i talked to randy and he grilled me about my opinions about the show and i said I REALLY LIKED IT and and YOU SURE WERE A ROTTEN BASTARD (his character in real life was instrumental in resurrecting the ku klux klan – see what i mean about the overall darkness?), and he said, are you going to come back and see it again, and i said, maybe i will, maybe i will.

ok then,

another gray sunday grace.